We had the most wonderful hurricane come through here this week, no wind damage (here at least), no flying oak trees, and lots of good soaking rain that we desperately needed.  It had gotten so dry this summer that Baptists were sprinkling, Methodists were using a damp cloth, and Presbyterians were handing out rain checks.  The Catholics and Episcopalians were praying that the Lord would turn wine back into water.  Now that's getting pretty dry right there . . .

Some of the dear ladies of my church have started a new ministry.  They are going door to door through residential neighborhoods giving out packages of light bulbs.  Of course packaged in with the bulbs are some gospel tracts and literature about our church, so I guess it's kind of like a cross between Baptist and Jehovah's Witnesses, but over all it's a great idea and seems to be effective.  But it did get me to thinking which we all know is a dangerous thing by now, just how many Southern Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?  And the answer is: 

How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
16,238,283.  But they will never all agree on whether it needs changing or not.

How many Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but first they have to make sure no one will be offended by the change.

How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb?
They're not sure, but they have several committees studying the issue.

How many members of the Church of Christ does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but if anyone else tries to change it the light won't come on.

How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
Nine.  One to change the bulb and eight to sell raffle tickets for the old bulb.

How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
Three.  One to change the bulb and two to bind the spirit of darkness that caused it to burn out in the first place.

How many Nazarenes does it take to change a light bulb?
Eleven. One to change the bulb and ten to organize the fellowship supper that follows.

How many Free Will Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it's probably going to need to be changed again someday.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to change a light bulb?
Two.  One to change the bulb and the second to hand you some literature to read while they change it.

How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?
They don't change it, they lay hands on the old bulb and pray for it to be healed.

How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?
What is a light bulb?

How many Seventh Day Adventists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but they'll never change it on a Saturday.

How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three.  One to bless the bulb, one to change it, and one to pour the wine.

How many Christian Scientists does it take to change a light bulb?
Three.  One to talk to the light bulb and two to pray that it heals itself from within.

How many Mormon missionaries does it take to change a light bulb?
Two.  One to climb the ladder and one to ride his bike to the store and get the bulb.

How many Mennonites does it take to change a light bulb?
Eventually about five, but they can get along fine without it.

How many televangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
Any one of them, but they all need for you to continually send money to keep the bulbs burning.

How many true Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one.  When God guides you to do something, he provides whatever you need to accomplish His purpose.

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