The below are not neceassarily true, but I hope that they are FUNNY! I took the dare to see if I could write funny answers!

1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
With or without their farm animals?

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
Yes, please!

3. what side of the bed u sleep on?
I always sleep with the home team.

4. Pork, beef, or chicken?
I don't "do" animals.

5. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
Wait, I'm plastered drunk, ready to puke, and I'm driving? I don't think so!

6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
I've been paid more to put them back on!

7. Shower or bath?
City water, or are we taliking "golden" showers and baths?

8. Do you pee in the shower?
Just like Madonna.

9. Mexican or Chinese?
Everyone is pink on the inside. I like the other flavors, too.

10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Alive and participating is the major thing, isn't it?

11. Do you love someone in your friends list?
Every chance I get!

12. Do you know all the people in your friends list?
Are we talking the Biblical "know" or just English language "know" ??

13.Love or money?
Is it the dinner menu, or al la carte?

14. Credit cards or cash?
Are we buying dinner, or ordering stuff over the Internet?

15. Have you ever had anyone in your family you wish wasn't?
Incest is not my bag, baby!

16. Would you rather go camping or to a 5 star hotel?
For me, 5-star hotels are camping!

17. What is the weirdest place you have had sex?
Where we did it or what body parts were involved? Nest time, ask an unambiguous question!

18. Would you shave your entire body (including your head) for money?
How much are we talking, and how many times?

19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Are we counting just spectating, or performing too?

20. Ever been to a bar?
I haven't even been to law school.

21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
I was kicked out of a bar in Mexico for being underdressed, and it had a dirt floor! You should have seen us! It was a riot!

22. Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere?
Not that I remember! And if you don't have pictures, or witnesses who will swear to it in court, IT NEVER HAPPENED!

23. Kissed someone of the same sex?
I kiss lots of my male releatives and friends, but facial cheeks only! And no tongues!

25. Had sex in a movie theater?
So many times, our home town audience can recite our dialogue, like we are the "show" at Rocky Horror!

26. Had sex in a bathroom?
Private bathrooms, of course. Public? Not without a good cleaning crew and industrial disinfectants before the main event.

27. Have you ever had sex at work?
Getting a charge number for the time was the hardest part.

28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
Yes, children's clothes just don't fit anymore.

29. Bought something from an adult store?
Only things I don't have to blow up.

30. Have you been caught having sex?
My wife caught me drilling my girlfriend, but it was okay; they are the same person!

31. Does anyone have naughty pics of u?
Yeah, but you can't see my face. My ass is too big!

32. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
They just don't respond to "Oh God!" do they?