It has been nearly four months, since Skibicki Research has been called to action, but like always, some people just have to know! I was working one happy day at work, which out of some strange miracle of God is still Boscov's, when a couple of girls I know happen to be upset. So to settle the situation from becoming an angry mob, I decided to ask what, pray tell, could be wrong. Why I ask never really makes sense, but I have a natural sense of curiosity that sometimes puts me in harms way. According to the two lovely ladies that withheld their anger like a puma, they thought a certain someone was quote/unquote an asshole! Normally, I would leave this issue to someone such as Dr. Phil, but he does not do Boscov's. So we go to Skibicki Research to come up with the answers!
As you all should know, this particular individual is an male! How I know is not important. Okay! This is the explanation! Women never seem to call other women assholes very often. Usually, women tend to leave that to the opposite sex, which really brings us to the true meaning of an asshole. This may later get me shot, but here it goes. Asshole: 1. (noun) another name for the rectal area on mammal. 2.(noun)  a person whom is mean spirited and is offensive in every quality that individual can be towards another individual or individuals. 3. (adj.) A male insult used by female(s) to describe certain male qualities that most females may never understand. 4.(adj./noun.) a male praise to another male, a compliment to another male without sounding gay. A male status word of well-being. If I encounter I mob of angry women after this is read, I truly understand. As the world turns, the gap between us males and the loveliest creatures we know as females seems to inch slowly larger than the Grand Canyon. And though, men and women may never understand each other, we can all certainly use some of the Skibicki Reseach Guide To Understanding Men, which will be coming soon to a bookstore near you in 2030.
It was once said that this is a Man's World by the famous singer James Brown. Of course, he backed his statement up by saying that it wouldn't be nothing without you ladies. An though he makes it seem like we come up with everything, the truth of the matter is that men only invented most things due to priority issues. After observing my sisters doing multiple tasks, and still understanding what they were doing, Skibicki Research has found that us guys like to simplify things, where as, women like complexity. But before we end up spoiling future filling in my book, Skibicki Research would like to explain assholeness. The problems that occur with most women excepting male behavior almost always resorts in calling their male an asshole. I should know. You can ask any of my girlfriends, and they, too, without sugar coding it, would say that I was an asshole. What usually causes this name calling usually has something to do with your needs for you females out there. It is not that we don't care about your needs, it is usually just the timing. The questions I have for all ladies out there are these: what is currently going on in the male surroundings? Are there other men around? What duties is currently running through his mind? Is there danger near? Or are we doing our stupid hobby that equals mental well-being for our simple mindsets? Whether our mindsets are involved with defending our ladies or doing some useless hobby such as pimping out our car, most males have one mindset going on at a time. Some of us are talented enough to have three going at time! It is rare, but it happens! But then again, look at George W. Bush?
The point is for some of our female requests is that some of requests to your needs are a little too demanding! But since Skibicki Research is the Devil's Advocate of things, there are several things that us assholes seem to always do wrong. 1. We forget to call you. 2. We forget important dates such as birthdays, but I bet you we all know the date that we first slept with you! 3.We fail to sound sincere about your feelings. 4. We definitely say stupid things. 5. We definitely insult you with out knowing it. As an example of the last one, I found myself telling a girl that she wore a certain outfit a lot. That does not sound like much, but I'm sure it was insulting.
Either way, I figure that I should be a little evil to explain us assholes. The problems between the valid insult and us guys comes down to the definition of the word itself. Believe it or not, there are some guys amongst us that truly do not know the difference between the insulting asshole and the male complimentary one. It is sad, but true. Not all of us are as smart as the creator of Skibicki Research. Then, again, I did once misspelled my own name. Either way, the point to understand males for you ladies is to come up with a better explanation of your frustration than calling him an asshole. Why not try: "You insensitive Bastard" or "You Fuck-Face"! Those tend to draw more attention. Either way, as a personal note, I would like a better reason for being single other than being an asshole. I should not be docked for a natural talent.

Skibicki