Well I guess I'll give you all un update on my life... no one will read it so it don't really matter...

Curently I have basically no friends... I can count them on the fingers of my right hand... due to a not so sudden aversion to people I kinda havnt left my house in about 2 months :s unless it was absolutly nesisary...

Ever since I got expelled from High School my life has lost meaning. It has meandered off into less than mediocraty! I have nothing to do with my life, no purpose, no drive, no anything.

I've tried to find some purpose again; I've been looking for jobs. But with my new found Social Phobia its kind of hard to go hand in a Resumé with out shaking and stuttering let alone go to a job interview...

So I tried some other stuff... reading... I thought id do some study while I was un occupied... but it turns out if there's no purpose behind the study, then it loses interest.

French... I turned my focus onto the devvelopment of my skills in French... turns out I don't really have that much skill and what's the point of learning a language if ur never going to use it?

Domestic work... I though, well im not doing anything... so why not clean... that was good for a while... kept my mind busy and hands hard at work (my family are a bunch of pigs)... but looking after a bunch of people who don't apreciate you and openly loath you isn't very satisfying.

So now im applying to TAFE for the Cert IV in nursing... I have no doubts what so ever that it will be a bust! So while I get my hopes up about it I've been trying to think of some more stuff to do to numb my brain when I fail at yet another thing.

Now lets bitch about the few friends I actually have... well start with the bigest bitchiest backstabbing ho I know, Kayla.

What a fucking bitch... I have always stood by her! Helped her through her bad times; been there to listen; given advice when she wants it and emotionally blackmailed her when she needed it! And now that im going through a rough patch she decides she doesn't wanna be friends untill I get my life back on track!

Well she can get fucked if she thinks im ever talking to her again! I have deleted, burnt or ripped up everything that could remind me off her... she can burn in Hell like she deserves!

Anyway... im trying to be more social... on tuesday im going to Chadstone to do some christmas shopping for my boyfriend and the few friends I have! Then on Sunday im meeting up with randoms from the net (the epitomy of pathetic *sighs*)

Ok bye,
Id better go befor I end up writing a whole novel soaked in self pitty and self loathing...

I love you;
Oli
Cass
Brandon
Isaac
Andy
And anyone I left out...

xxXiLoVeOlI4eVaXx