After taking everyone's suggestions into account, I've sent off this letter to all the national newspapers. It challenges famous or influential people to get on board the CATEmobile by doing something noteworthy for the environment. There's a mixture of quite achievable and rather far-fetched things.
Now there's no knowing if any of the papers will actually print this, so in the meantime, I am going to busy myself targeting specific Well-Known People of my acquaintance. What I'd like is for anyone else who knows a Well-Known Person to pass this letter on to them. This way, it becomes a two-pronged attack.
Let's see if the world's luminaries take up this exciting opportunity.
MW
AN OPEN LETTER TO BRITAIN'S CELEBRITIES IN THE LIGHT OF AL GORE'S NOBEL PEACE PRIZE
Dear great and good.
Hope it's all going well. I enjoyed your show on TV/downloaded your single/wore clothes from your range/cried when you went out of Wimbledon/campaigned for your release from jail/have always just admired you in general.
Two things:
Firstly, whatever you make of this Al Gore business, most people agree that the environment is in trouble. It would be nice to something about it without giving up too much of your time. But what?
I'm a comedian; you may have seen me on such satirical treats as 'Mock The Week'. I have set up an organisation called Crap At The Environment, which, as the name suggests, is for people who are not very green at all, but keen to do slightly better before we all find ourselves underwater. I now want to recruit some more important people to take on some challenges alongside me.
Indeed, even if you're not famous at all, but influential in some field or other, I would love you to pledge to do one or more of these things. If you're a captain of industry, for instance. Or the speaker in the House of Commons. Or Alan Bean, the fourth man on the moon.
Here are the challenges:
Switch to a green energy supplier. This will actually save you money in the long run, which might come in handy given the famously fickle nature of fame. Wanted: 50.
Decorate a canvas bag with your own design, be pictured using it, and auction it off for environmental charities. Wanted: 50.
Only use taxi firms which deploy 'green', e.g. hybrid, cabs; and vow to use trains/buses instead of domestic flights. Go on. I have. No-one needs to fly within the UK.
Wanted: 30.
Hijack the airwaves to promote eco-friendly living. Mention it on your radio show. Do an 'unplugged' performance. Slip it into a 'Parkinson' interview. Do a stand-up routine about it. Mention it in the Queen's Speech if you are the Queen. Wanted: 10.
Wear only second-hand clothes for a week. Wanted: 10.
Give up your private jet! Now this requires a celebrity of considerable stature, both in terms of status and morality. Wanted: 1.
Do some other noteworthy thing of your choosing. Become a vegetarian. Edit your film on a single computer instead of a whole suite. Hold a high-profile dinner-party with locally sourced ingredients. Use your imagination. You must have a lot of imagination or you wouldn't be the great and good. Wanted: infinite.
I'd be very grateful if you would join in this modest, but genuine, attempt to do something worthwhile.
Mark Watson