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Guttermouth



Last Updated: 12/14/2009

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Status: Single
City: Huntington Beach
State: California
Country: US
Signup Date: 2/25/2007

Who Gives Kudos:

Bri (2)
Resuscitato.. (2)
(2)
Phrotto Bag.. (2)
Tuesday, April 08, 2008 
Then Run (do not walk) to the nearest and greatest venue in an around your little neck of the earth, look up to the bright lights of the Marquee and check to see if you are greeted by the word Guttermouth shining back at you in the splendor of the night sky!

If it is, then we are a coming your way! you lucky bastard you!

If it is not, then you must live in an awful town and we didn’t want to come play for you in the first place...

That’s right sports fans, Guttermouth is playing a myriad of shows in Northern California

Santa Cruz! Santa Barbara...Bakersfield! and many more!

and (statistically speaking) the chances are good that we will be in a town near you...

So come on down and bring the wife and kids!

Don’t have a wife and kids?

Then bring someone else wife and kids, buy the kids ice cream, pin a twenty dollar bill to their chests, drop em at the bus stop and bring the little lady to our show.

you don’t need kids around when you’re trying to handle delicate matters...You know what I mean?

I mean having an affair with someone else’s wife! That’s what I mean!

See ya there folks!

Ryan
8:10 AM
 
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Bri

 
come check them out at the end of the month im doing merch bitch. tip me give me drinks im fun
 
Posted by Bri on Tuesday, April 08, 2008 - 8:35 AM
[Reply to this] 
Resuscitator of Flatlined Minds
Dickweed Specklebottom

 
Fuck. Dave was colored which was a mark against him, but at least he spoke in complete sentences. And he gave me free stickers once so that sucks.

RIP Dave. RIP.

(saying someone went to community college is the equivalent of a parent saying your animal went to live on a farm)
 
Posted by Resuscitator of Flatlined Minds on Tuesday, April 08, 2008 - 9:00 AM
[Reply to this] 
Dave

 
im not dead but thanks
 
Posted by Dave on Tuesday, April 08, 2008 - 3:30 PM
[Reply to this] 
Guttermouth

 
Ah yes, How could I forget!

Ladies and Gentlemen (mostly Gentlemen) Allow me to introduce to you Capable Merchandise Technician Bri!

Capable Merchandise technician David Velasco has gone on to an illustrious career in Community College and is no longer available for the champagne parties/all night jello Snack-pack orgies that constitute your average run-o-the-mill Guttermouth tour...So!

We've acquired the services of this fair lass.

I can't say I don't miss Dave...however Bri does look better in a halter top and hump Hump heels that Dave could ever hope to (he's got Hammer toes)

Treat her like a lady folks and give up those tips. tip her til your wallet runs dry, you won't be sorry...

you show your tips and well...

Quid Pro Quo *wink*
 
Posted by Guttermouth on Tuesday, April 08, 2008 - 8:53 AM
[Reply to this] 
Resuscitator of Flatlined Minds
Dickweed Specklebottom

 
While your Geographic skills are horrible, I do like the idea of kidnap and rape.

Most Californians I know do not consider it N. Cal until San Fran or maybe San Jose. Definitely not Bakersfield or Santa Barbara.

And bus drivers do not accept change so pinning a $20 is a horrible idea.

But like I said, kidnapping someone's family and raping the mom in front of the kids sold me to the hardcores max imum. 2 kudos for you Sir.
 
Posted by Resuscitator of Flatlined Minds on Tuesday, April 08, 2008 - 9:05 AM
[Reply to this] 
Guttermouth

 
you're right, santa Barbara is not technically "Northern California"

Which is why we are also playing shows in Berkeley! Sacramento! and San Luis Obispo (also technically not Northern California...?)

Which I forgot to mention, but then I figured:

"ah hell, if they read the blog then they'll check the show listing and put two and two together, after all, they're smart and resourceful, and not assholes at all, no sir...not assholes at all"
 
Posted by Guttermouth on Tuesday, April 08, 2008 - 9:38 PM
[Reply to this] 
Robyn Graves
Jaime Jackson

 
Sacramento maybe. Redding is Northern California. Though we have such uptight assfucks running this town that every time there is a show, 10 cop cars come to bust it up. Just thinking about it makes me sad :*(
 
Posted by Robyn Graves on Friday, April 11, 2008 - 4:20 PM
[Reply to this] 
los castillos

 
i read your bulletin, so i had to do it. come to hawaii, assholes.
 
Posted by los castillos on Tuesday, April 08, 2008 - 9:41 AM
[Reply to this] 
Shura

 
bet, you're too lazy to set up any gig in Ukraine ;) but if you come here I'll do it for ya :D
 
Posted by Shura on Tuesday, April 08, 2008 - 10:27 AM
[Reply to this] 
Phrotto Baggins
Joe Otto

 
Uhhhh.. What about San Diego???? Canes is waiting...
 
Posted by Phrotto Baggins on Tuesday, April 08, 2008 - 1:12 PM
[Reply to this] 
Guttermouth

 
Good Question...I had to google this one

Lake Tahoe is something of a natural divider if you will between the free wheeling smoke/drink/gamble/fornicate where you will and when you will great state of Nevada...and the people's republic of California

And if I you are one of the unlucky many that had to pay an exorbitant amount of money in CA state income tax this time around you just might know what I mean....

South Lake Tahoe unfortunately falls geographically onto California's side of the proverbial 38th parallel...

How's that for Geographical skills Soup Guy?
 
Posted by Guttermouth on Monday, April 14, 2008 - 7:46 AM
[Reply to this] 
Guttermouth

 
Yes, Northern California, it is in Northern California...happy?
 
Posted by Guttermouth on Wednesday, April 23, 2008 - 7:43 AM
[Reply to this]