In what felt to be many moons ago Agent Hosie (a.k.a Phil) had informed me that one of our hallmark bands from years past had announced their final tour and that it would be worthwhile to attend their passing. I agreed with his assessment of the situation, and left it in his capable hands to plan our trip to Atlanta, to witness Ministry in one of their final acts of sonic, civic disobedience.
For those of you not familiar with Ministry here is a link where you can read to your hearts contentment click but for those less "click" inclined here is a not so brief excerpt from their wiki.
Al Jourgensen began Ministry in Chicago, Illinois in 1981. His first band prior to Ministry was Special Affect with Groovie Mann (of My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult) and drummer Harry Rushakoff (Concrete Blonde). The original line-up of Ministry consisted mainly of Jourgensen (vocals and keyboards) and Stephen George (drums), and Ministry's original sound was essentially New Wave synth-pop that was more melodic than the aggressive music for which Jourgensen would become known. In the incarnation of Jourgensen/George, Ministry created four 12" singles on Wax Trax! Records through 1984 (anthologized on Twelve Inch Singles). Their first LP, With Sympathy, was issued on Arista Records in 1983, and sold slowly but hit the upper 90's in the Billboard Top 100. The music in With Sympathy, and the various singles that Arista issued in association with it, was melodic pop. Jourgensen has always expressed disappointment with Ministry's music during those early years, reportedly referring to With Sympathy as an "abortion of an album." According to him, after signing the record contract, all artistic control of Ministry was "handed" over to other writers and producers. [1] Some of his preferred recordings from that era were collected into the CD Early Trax (Rykodisc Records, 2004).
….Ministry broke into the mainstream in 1991 with "Jesus Built My Hotrod" (co-authored by Gibby Haynes of the Butthole Surfers and Michael Balch of Frontline Assembly affiliation). The music video was a hit on MTV, and the band scored second billing on the Lollapalooza tour and managed, by some accounts, to steal the show. As the single would have indicated, the sound of the following LP, Psalm 69: The Way to Succeed and the Way to Suck Eggs (1992), was the most metal-oriented Ministry had put to record at that point, the focal point of the sound shifting almost entirely from synths to Jourgensen's and new members Mike Scaccia's and Louis Svitek's electric guitars. ??F????T, which is printed on the record, is Greek for "head" or "leader". The title was borrowed from Aleister Crowley's work: The Book of Lies (Psalm 69: The Way to Succeed and the Way to Suck Eggs). Psalm 69 became Ministry's biggest hit, including in addition to "Jesus Built My Hotrod" the singles "N.W.O." (a protest of the Persian Gulf War and attack directed at then-President George H.W. Bush) and "Just One Fix" (a collaboration with poet/novelist William S. Burroughs).
The "C-U-LaTour". Ministry's farewell tour started its North American leg on March 26, 2008 with Meshuggah and Hemlock as opening acts.
Hosie and I departed for Atlanta in faithful Kermit around 4:00 A.M. on Friday morning and arrived in Atlanta around eight A.M. Traffic only became dense as we neared Atlanta, but with Hosie navigating off of a rainforests worth of printed materials we negotiated the traffic with ease and found our way to our destination.
Traffic
It had been several years since I had visited Atlanta and I was shocked to see how much it had grown in the interim. Unfortunately it seemed that little of the obvious monies expended had been in the arena of urban renewal. Most of the growth was reminiscent of many of the development projects around Charlotte these days. Buildings and communities strategically designed to look like they have been there for awhile, like real communities look, grown and nurtured by generations. Unfortunately it reminds me of the décor one can get at retailers like Pier 51. Similar to the décor one might develop over years of travel and experience, yet available for purchase in one convenient pre-fab package. Convenient boxed style to decorate your boxed home in your boxed community.
Pemberton Square Area
We located parking around the Perberton square section of downtown, around which resides several attractions including "The World of Coca-Cola", The Georgia Aquarium, Pemberton Park and several other museums, and sought out breakfast prior to the museum opening at nine A.M. We walked into the heart of the downtown area, which was rapidly awakening to the beautiful Friday morning. The sun shone brightly, birds chirped, and the homeless were rising to bask in a new day filled with promise. We settled upon an establishment called "The Metro Diner" to break our fast, but I believe both of us were rather disappointed in the quality of the fare. My pancakes were grainy and I found the single serve syrup packets provided less than appealing. Fortunately they still filled sufficiently me and did not promote any gastro intestinal distress, unlike agent Hosie's, who later helped to orally fertilize a corner of Pemberton Park. If not for the quasi hot waitress and her hot European accent the whole experience would have been a bust.
Dark Tower
World of Coke and The Georgia Aquarium
We made it back down to the "World of Coca Cola" slightly after nine and took the tour which I would recommend to anyone in the Atl. area. I particularly enjoyed the Andy Warhol exhibit, and the sampling gallery with tastes of flavors Coke sells in foreign markets. I found the "Menthe" which tasted like mouthwash and the Aztec Cola particularly disturbing to the palate. The "Beverly" was less disgusting than everyone made it out to be, but then again I really dig grapefruit. Overall I found the museum to be lacking from its previous incarnation, then again I was much younger and far less jaded the last time I took the tour. The tour exited into, get this, a gift shop!
The Vortex
It was pushing 11:00 by the time we exited so we began the trek to "The Vortex" a place Hosie had visited in his last mission to Atlanta. It was a really cool place with excellent food and a wide selection of beer. It is staffed primarily with scantily clad tattooed women, so that did not lessen its appeal. Hosie had a grilled cheese sandwich topped with jalapeño's and black olives, while I sampled their black and bleu burger, Cajun spices with a bleu cheese spread and tater tots on the side, which I really enjoyed. That place does some serious business, so I was glad we got there early.
Atlanta is really run down in spots, and the homeless/panhandlers situation is desperate. Yet their stories were well played and rehearsed and separated me with around two dollars and change of my limited travel funds. Hosie was separated from a bag of chips, which I believed the man actually really enjoyed.
Official Trip T-Shirt....(Just Kidding)
Old Building
On our return trip I spotted out hotel so we went in and were able to get our room early. We asked the desk clerk about the venue, which we had considered walking to that night, but he recommended that we take a cab, due to the seedy nature of the intervening terrain. We thanked him for his advice and proceeded back to the car, with a brief pit stop at the Hard Rock café for a few more beers and yet another recommendation that we take a cab to the show. One we got to the car we drove to the hotel, settled in, washed off the Atlanta grime we had accumulated and took naps. We got up around six and ate a redneck buffet of crackers and granola bars before catching a cab to the show.
Red Roof Inn
The Masquerade was an interesting place, although paying $3.50 for a Pabst Blue Ribbon marks it as extremely pricey. It is divided into three levels, Heaven, Purgatory and Hell, and partially located in an old mill, with authentic stone masonry and rusty iron accents, as Hosie put it, a real bondage lovers dream. The place was hopping with activity with several local bands performing. We were herded upstairs to heaven and watched Hemlock, who were quasi-entertaining, and at least genuine in their desire to please. Despite their much self-celebrated record deal after 15 years, I cannot say I would bet on them breaking big any time soon. C+ performance based on C- talent.
The Masquerade
Meshuggah came out and blew me away with their sonic assault. I was doubly glad or their superior session because it gave me motivation to move around because standing still was killing my feet after all the walking we had done earlier. A+ Performance on solid A talent! "Let us make the rock sounds for you now" the lead singer had a weird accent like Arnold and Elvis's baby.
After a prolonged stage set up Ministry finally took the stage around 11:30 and despite the anticipation I was promptly under whelmed. Al looked like a poor mans Ozzie in his top hat and mirrored shades, and they spun through "new material" that sounded as if it was the same song over and over. It was entertaining, but Meshuggah definitely crushed Ministry underfoot. Sorry Al, you peaked long ago it seems, and no one sent you the memo. Also as Hosie so aptly put it….giving up heroin to chain smoke….what was the point?
We exited the show and were glad for the cool night air, as heaven had taken on atmospheric conditions better suited to its counterpart. There was a line to get into the club primarily comprised of clubbers in hip hop couture, and the contrast between the metel/goth/emo scene exiting was interesting. We immediately hailed a cab and were back to our room in less than 15 minutes. The city-scape and its inhabitants made me glad we had decided to take a cab.
We left out of Atlanta on Saturday morning and stopped in at a Waffle House in Braselton Ga. for breakfast and experienced probably one of the top three Waffle House times I have ever had. The staff was attentive, friendly, and the food was perfect. Remember south on Hwy 211! We made it home sometime after 1:00 and I dropped Hosie off at his base of operations, while Kermit and I headed back to the stable.
Thought that shit was pretty funny didn't you....