Oy, I didn't know this g-damn myspace would automatically update my age when my birthday passed. Now I feel old and ugly! I mean, 38 is an okay age if you look reasonably attractive, with only minor under-eye bags from maintenance drinking (this used to be a six-pack a day, now it's 2/3 bottle of wine an evening plus 1/3 of a fresh bottle, saving the 2/3 bottle for the next evening so you can really say you drink less than a bottle an evening, and so on). At 38, you can still thumb your nose at 40 and nobody gives you any nevermind. But 39, yuck! Now I'm scraping my heels on the doormat of life, and dipping my toes into the cold cold pool of mortality.

I TAKE IT ALL BACK! All that rot about how people on myspace shouldn't say they're 99 years old or whatever. LIE, I tell you, LIE about your age!!!

I'm off to google injectibles.