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Andrew Dice Clay



Last Updated: 11/26/2009

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Friday, October 05, 2007 


The surprise party was really great, I've never had one before. It was the first one I've ever had in my life.


Well, it was hard to keep it a secret between the kids and your sister and wheels.


Nah, I know. All week I kept saying to the kids "Yanno, this is a big birthday" and they were basically ignoring me.


I know, they didnt want to give it away.


And then I says to wheels "Am I gonna see you on my birthday?" and he's like "I'll be around." so I figured alright, just go along with the program.


You were really surprised though, right?


Completely.


Where are you guys now?


We're in Milwaukee, I'm playin Jokerz tonight.


And last nights show was great?


I blew Chicago away, just like I told ya. And the new material, that Middle East stuff I told ya about? The people went crazy...I'm the best!


You really are, and I knew that material would kill. Anyway, I gotta pick the kids up now. The animals that were jumping all over the bed last night and would not let me go to sleep.


They are not so little anymore. Anyway, go ahead, go to the grocery store, buy some new milk & bread. Have some fun.


Yeah Andrew...that sounds like a real blast. Why didn't you have me open up for you on this trip?


Eleanor, I havent been on the road for awhile, so I figured I would take Wheels. He's a man.


So women cant go on the road because they're "not a man"?


I'm lookin to have fun.


I'm not fun?!?


You are...but not the way...you think you are.


Well how am I fun? Tell me how I'm fun.


You're fun like...girls are fun. Ya know.


No, I dont know. That made no sense at all. You make no sense at all. I cant figure out why I even talk to you still.


Show you when I get home, honey.


Yeah, I know. That's what they all say.


What does that mean?


Gotta go!

keywestsusie
x x

 
THE MAN . ................................
JESSSSSSSSSSSSS THOUGHT OF YOU ALOT THIS SUMMER........................
GLAD TO SEE YOU'VE BEEN SO BUSY..........................
NICE.....................................
LOVE YA .andrew.
 
Posted by keywestsusie on Monday, October 08, 2007 - 8:49 PM
[Reply to this
♥darryls beach bunny♥

 
hey glad to see you on myspace as saying how you never answer anything at all we love you anyway you are the man
 
Posted by ♥darryls beach bunny♥ on Monday, October 08, 2007 - 10:58 PM
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fj

 
Hey Dice, Its Nice To See A Blog Up. Blew Chicago Away?? You Blow The World Away. You Are The Funniest Comic On The Planet. Keep Kickin Ass Diceman.
 
Posted by fj on Tuesday, October 09, 2007 - 4:28 PM
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HATTMAN

 
Yo Dice:
I am glad that you are back blogging, You crack me up!

Hattman
 
Posted by HATTMAN on Tuesday, October 09, 2007 - 6:30 PM
[Reply to this
HATTMAN

 
Yo Dice:
I am glad that you are back blogging, You crack me up!

Hattman
 
Posted by HATTMAN on Tuesday, October 09, 2007 - 6:30 PM
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Michele

 
yeah!!! about time :-D
 
Posted by Michele on Wednesday, October 10, 2007 - 6:42 PM
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tommykaZi

 
I THOUGHT YOU GOT WASHED AWAY.... YA KNOW IN THAT BIG RAIN THAT THEY HAD??
 
Posted by tommykaZi on Wednesday, October 10, 2007 - 8:05 PM
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smokeyanthony

 
You are the best, Dice.
 
Posted by smokeyanthony on Friday, November 02, 2007 - 3:19 AM
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.

 
Sounds like a typical day at my house elenor you have to understand not that kinda fun this kinda fun there now its out.........work work work make money have fun were not getting any younger Roland
 
Posted by . on Saturday, November 03, 2007 - 7:40 PM
[Reply to this
Tony
Anthony Malandro

 
Dice come to the Pittsburgh IMPROV
 
Posted by Tony on Monday, November 05, 2007 - 5:15 AM
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Beach Bum 4 Ever!
Denise Moore Cranford

 
Love you Dice! You have always rocked!
 
Posted by Beach Bum 4 Ever! on Tuesday, November 06, 2007 - 6:00 AM
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KEEP STRIVING FOR YOUR DREAMS

 
ANDREW:---------> THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN AND WE NEED MORE OF YOU AND THE DICEMAN..... IS YOUR SHOW GOING TO BE BACK ON THE AIR ON THE WAY TO MADISON SQUARE GARDENS??? YOU DESERVE THAT SHOW BACK THERE I WOULD FIND SOME WAT TO MAKE IT TO NEW YORK AND VISIT MY FAMILY AND TO SEE YOUR SHOW IF IT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

SIGNED ONE OF YOUR BIGGEST FKN FANS.
CHRIS
 
Posted by KEEP STRIVING FOR YOUR DREAMS on Thursday, January 03, 2008 - 2:00 AM
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DIG

 
Dice, shoot your manager. He's a retard. Now, you ain't Einstein yourself but maybe you'll get this:

I got 6 words and 1 number for you:

The Day the Laughter Died Part 3

Get into a club with 15-20 unsuspecting jerkoffs, roll the tape, FUCK WITH THEM, Go...

So follow this very simple procedure but first understand: You won't make a 6 figure MSG paycheck afterward, you won't fill Giants Stadiium afterward (ever), You won't be in negociations for Ford Fairlane 2 afterward (ever...hopefully...let's let that movie alone as it is a materpeice...please don't sully it with a shitty sequel....PLEASE).

What you WILL DO is this: Make another FANTATSIC comedy album.

Then do it again (TDLD4, etc). Your stadium work paid you well but let's be honest ....it's mediocre. Now I know that it takes balls and brains to to that point but what is it that you want? Money or to be the greatest comedian on Earth? Think about it.

So hickory dickory dock who gives a fock, but i sez do what you do best and cut the crap. FUCK WITH THEM.

No matter what though, I still love you (yeah I know...who gives a fock...OH!)

-DIG

PS. If Dice HIMSELF don't really look at this myspace page or write on it or whatever...I hope whoever really does and is committing this fucking fraud gets their balls ripped off at the roots and fed to their fucking mother.
 
Posted by DIG on Sunday, January 06, 2008 - 12:44 PM
[Reply to this
DIG

 
PS. Please drop the rhyme bullshit. It's done. It was great but it's done. OVER. Please don't promise more. Please don't give in to and try to please the smellymasses of imbecile jerkoffs (just me). When they scream for them at gigs, work your magic and...FUCK THEM AND WITH THEM. Those fuckin' retarded cunts...

That's all I got to say but lastly hire me as a writer, take me on the road, and get me laid (white chicks only please). But if no, then please at least TRY to stick to the things that make you GREAT...not the things that make you RICH.

In short: FUCK THE FUCKIN RHYMES!
 
Posted by DIG on Sunday, January 06, 2008 - 11:42 PM
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K A T H I L Y N ™ Official Myspace Page

 
awwww...you're so cool.
 
Posted by K A T H I L Y N ™ Official Myspace Page on Tuesday, February 05, 2008 - 11:59 PM
[Reply to this
Cartoonist of Pennsylvania- Frank H.

 
Had to go to the grocery story huh? I hope you didnt get in trouble like you did in the movie "Seven Deadly Sins", which was one of the best fuckin' movies ever made!
 
Posted by Cartoonist of Pennsylvania- Frank H. on Monday, March 31, 2008 - 12:29 AM
[Reply to this
DIG

 
Whoever the monkey is running this page, tell the Diceman that that Pollstar appearance (the vids on youtube) is what it's all about. THAT'S the shit right there...that's Legend material

...oh and his appearances on Tommy G's show too (btw that fucking Green guy is such a timid wimp nowadays...ugh it's sickening).

Anyways...."The Day the Laughter Died Part III" - That's the ticket.
 
Posted by DIG on Wednesday, April 02, 2008 - 7:54 PM
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Kevin B

 
Dice Im a big fan, Please come back to Houston real soon.
 
Posted by Kevin B on Sunday, April 06, 2008 - 12:33 AM
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Nikki

 
Glad to see that you are still blowing everyone away!
So is there any talk of new movies coming out?
When you coming to Florida? Love to see you live!
Keep the laughs coming!
Love ya!
 
Posted by Nikki on Friday, April 18, 2008 - 3:26 AM
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Roadie/Comedian Dave Evans
Dave Evans

 
lol
 
Posted by Roadie/Comedian Dave Evans on Wednesday, July 16, 2008 - 6:15 PM
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CreativeMakeup Artist
Debra Hurd

 
Glad to know that you are on the road again Diceman! BREAK A LEG!
 
Posted by CreativeMakeup Artist on Friday, September 12, 2008 - 9:02 PM
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Jim
Jim Bett Jr

 
Damn I cant believe I missed you here in Milwaukee! I have never been able to get to one of your shows yet......hopefully you can come back soon! Good to see Milwaukee mentioned though as we are pretty much ignored by everyone here.
 
Posted by Jim on Thursday, October 23, 2008 - 8:51 AM
[Reply to this
The Inquisitive Link
Dr. Maximus

 
Dice! Come to Chicago! Make some albums! You are truly the UNDISPUTED!!! Your fan, Bobby
 
Posted by The Inquisitive Link on Monday, November 17, 2008 - 9:53 PM
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~WILDPONY~
ČĺĨčķ Ĥĕŕĕ

 
~ WildPony ~
 
Posted by ~WILDPONY~ on Thursday, December 04, 2008 - 7:24 AM
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ESBMike
Mike Clark

 
hey ford, here's to you, SUCKIN MY DICK

yeah, some of us still like that movie. good job and happy late fucking birthday.
 
Posted by ESBMike on Friday, December 05, 2008 - 4:33 AM
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Tony Slungini
Tony Slungini

 
Hey Dice,
I saw you in Toronto at Massey Hall,,,,nice job,,,,especially the Sigfried and Roy bit,,,i repeated at work all the next week!

Charlie Flynn in Buffalo, NY
 
Posted by Tony Slungini on Saturday, January 03, 2009 - 9:49 PM
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jeff martz
jeff martz

 
Dice; any chance you will visit Northeast Pa? Like either Scranton Pa or Allentown Pa?
 
Posted by jeff martz on Sunday, March 08, 2009 - 5:31 AM
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Dr. KPOB

 
..Would love to hear ya on O & A again like the OLD days of WNEW!..
 
Posted by Dr. KPOB on Saturday, July 25, 2009 - 7:08 PM
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Justice

 
Looks looks a lot like a convo. between me and my lady....  ..

 
Posted by Justice on Friday, October 30, 2009 - 11:34 AM
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