Just recently, I came to terms with a very huge part of my past that was literally eating me alive. It was the guilt over a loved one's death, but I realize that some things are left out of your control, and you can't control everything.

Needless to say, she gave me love and hope during a time in my life that I needed it the most, and I'll always love here for it. But I also felt responsible for the thing that happened to her. If I didn't keep her out late, she'd still be here. She was the most real, down to earth woman I've ever known, and yeah, I still miss the hell out of her everyday, but there's a point where you have to put those loved ones to rest and move on.

I realized that if I want to honor her, and the lesson she gave me, is to live a full, happy life. It's short, whether we believe it or not, and I want to make the most of it. She lived like there was no tomorrow, and I'd forgotten that.

It's funny, but when you put a lot of things to rest within you, things happen. People actually want to be around you again. Women start talking to you again. You're eyes become clear again and you want to live the life you know you were meant to. She's still my Jiminy Crickett voice on my shoulder, even though I'm still a stubborn sumbitch who ignores all rulebooks and follows his heart.

Thanks Christina. You're still the best, and we'll see you again someday.