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Current mood:  amused Category: Blogging
"Which came first…The Chicken or the Egg?" Obviously, there are two possible answers and both deserve a little exploring before we plop ourselves down firmly on either side of the "Chicken/Egg Controversy".
Answer One: The Chicken came first.
Theology aside, this is a legitimate possibility. Eggs come from chickens, so, logically the chicken had to come first. But why did the chicken need to lay an egg? Was it to procreate the Chicken Race or was it because the chicken was bored after discovering that the scenery was just the same on one side of the road as the other? Did it make the chicken feel any sort of pride at the time? If they were the only chicken in the world up to that time, who was the chicken going to show its egg off to?
Of course, being the World's First Chicken came with Great Responsibilities. It had to not only protect itself from predators but now it had an egg...an extension of itself...to protect. Not only did it have to protect the egg from 4 legged predators, but it also had to be on the lookout for the two legged ones as well. Obviously, this egg could not survive on its own since it had no eyes to see with or legs to run with. So, after much pampering, coddling and protecting it from poachers, one day the egg hatched and suddenly the chicken wasn't alone anymore! It now had a constantly peeping, continuously hungry, yellow ball of fluff to protect. This was an improvement over the egg, but not much. Even though it had eyes and legs, it couldn't see very well or run very fast. Not only that, but it was DEMANDING! It always seemed to be in need of food or comfort or just some snuggle time. Despite the inconvenience this caused, the chicken was willing to put up with it because...well....because this little ball of demanding fluff was a part of itself. Besides that, it was too cute to get annoyed with, even if it did peep constantly.
After this, the chicken laid more eggs and had more chicks that, in turn, grew up and (if they were female) laid their own eggs and the cycle continued. A two legged predator known as "Man" appeared on the scene one day and the chickens had to learn how to hide and protect their eggs. This was because Man had discovered Fire and also discovered that eggs tossed in the fire were much better than the eggs that weren't. Legend has it that the first Egg ever eaten was by a man named "Oog" in One Million B.C. Because he lost a bet during a Turtle Race, Oog had to eat the first thing he saw pop out of a chicken's ass as a forfeit. The discovery that "Chicken Ass Balls" (as Man was want to call Eggs) were delicious when cooked was an epiphany. This led to a wholesale slaughter of unborn chickens because Man needed his morning, "Adam and Eve on a Raft".
Despite this, there were eventually many, many chickens that were all descended from the First Chicken...a mystic being that is still venerated by chickens to this very day.
Answer Two: The Egg Came First.
There are others who will insist that the Egg came first. While it is in this writers opinion that this view point is sheer lunacy, it is still worthy of being explored.
If the Egg did indeed come first, who protected it? Let's assume that one day, there was nothing on top of a primordial sand dune and the next day, POOF, there's an Egg. Assuming that God did create the world and everything on it, who do you suppose He had watch out over the egg and protect it? God was awfully busy in those days...creating planets and stars out of nothing isn't as easy as it sounds, even if you ARE Omnipotent. He didn't have Time to look out for this Egg thing He had created so the egg was left to its own devices as it sat there quietly on the sand dune, being warmed by the newly formed Sun.
As eggs go, the First Egg was nothing spectacular. It wasn't flashy or showy and it didn't hold an opinion, political or otherwise. On the contrary, the First Egg was quite plain. A simple white ovoid shape nestled snugly in its sandy nest being ignored by both God and His creatures. It was a happy time for the First Egg even though it wasn't aware of its happiness since eggs are not self-aware as a general rule.
After many days on the sand dune, the First Egg began to move. It rocked back and forth and, had there been anyone near enough to hear it, began emitting loud, peeping sounds similar to what would later be known as a, "Smoke Alarm with a Low Battery". Suddenly, the shell of the egg cracked open and out emerged two little bird-like feet! As soon as its feet hit the sand, the First Egg began to hop. That sand was HOT!! As a result of its hopping, the First Egg got overbalanced and fell over, rolling down the sand dune and into a large rock in the process. When the Egg hit the rock, the shell broke open completely and out emerged the World's First Chicken!
Like its previous state as First Egg, the First Chicken wasn't much to look at. It was a yellow ball of fluff balanced on top of two legs that were much too short to allow it to get anywhere fast. The First Chicken then decided to get off the hot sand and cross a newly Created road into the grassy shade. This took several minutes for the little chick, but she made it. From that point on, the First Chicken made it a policy to not set foot on the hot sand. It spent all of its time in the woods under the cool shade trees and walked on the soft grass, eating various bugs, worms and the occasional grass seed.
One day, while in its usual spot under a large oak tree near a small stream, the First Chicken fell asleep. When it awoke, it discovered something hard under itself. When the chicken got up and looked, she discovered a small, white ovoid shaped "thing". For some strange reason she felt compelled to protect it and keep it warm. While she sat on the egg to protect it, she talked to it, sang to it, rolled it over and generally made its Egg Life as easy as possible. The First Chicken had vague memories of the hot sand dune and swore that nothing that was a part of her would ever have to deal with that. Her Egg would enter into life better off than she had been. It would be loved, protected, taught and coddled in a way that she herself had not been. All of which goes to show that even chickens have notions of giving their offspring a better life than what they themselves had.
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