So...Wow. I don't know what to say. That is a lot to think about.  But honestly Sweets I think everyone has thoughts like that running through their head. Not everyone is able to come out and ask them. Ive been thinking things like that too.

Maybe you should think about what in life you can change to make you feel better about life. For example I did....I quit smoking....I decided to stop thinking about what other people think about me. And I patched up everything with people who I had problems with.

Just go with your instinct on how you  think your life should be ...stop thinking about the if's. Lifes whatcha make it.

Love ya kidd!!! lol

<3Lindsay

ps:Hopefully that helps somewhat.

Thank you Lindsay.

That did help me a bit.

=]]

i have horrible thaught 2. ur not the only one. i always think about death and suiside. i always think about what it feels like 2 be dead. u are just like me, u have a lot of questions like that 2. just be thanful for what u have, b/c there ar so many teens out there that have done some of the thingds u mentioned, and that are stuck in some of those situations.

i have said this many times b4, u can tell me anything. i will listen 2 u and help u the best way i can.

ily u 2. u are my bestest guy friend. i am so glad i met u. u are an awsome friend 2 have. we have a lot of fun 2gether at lunch. lol. i am probly going 2 cry when u go on ever 2 scc. but i know that u have the best excuse for going there. i am glad that u and ian are back 2gether and that u are happy again. good luck w/ everything.

luv u.

<3 ariel

hmm it takes guts to spill your guts

like that girl said im sure EVERYONE has these thoughts

but

unlike them you admit it

so cheer up your normal lol

like i said...interesting

Aw, well thanks Josh.

I know that lots of people have these same thoughts. This was kinda meant to see if anybody else had thought the same stuff I do. Because, I mean, sometimes I think this stuff on a daily basis, without recognition of it.

I think like that once in a while. not in a dreary way, in curiosity. I figure, why try to stop thinking when I, a. can't help it, and b. was given the ability.

You're imaginitive. You may be the minority in that catagory, but don't forget that distruction is the biggest part of creation.

That is what I was trying to get at. For people to see that it's not a bad way thing that I think these things, that I am curious.

C'mon, I'm only human.

I love your way of putting things, so entricate.

Well your not weird because if i'm being honest, a couple of weeks before i met mark i was going to hang myself in my bedroom. I had it planned out, I would rip the ceiling or break it, put a rope around the pillar and connect it to my bed, and whilst waiting to jump of my bed after standing on it and letting my body have a quick and simple drop, my mother would find me 4 hours afterwards, eyes gazed upwards facing the sun.

But then again, i am after all a freak, so if i were you id not think about or fantasise about who cries at your funeral.

xo

Aw, that is upsetting to hear, but I'm glad you're still amongst the living.

I don't really fantasize about it, more just curious about what if.

I know what you mean though. And, btw, I don't think you're a freak.

Who in society can determine who is normal and who is a freak anyway?

You're only a freak if that is what you are TRYING to be, you know?

"Yet ah! why should they know their fate?
Since sorrow never comes too late,
And happiness too swiftly flies.
Thought would destroy their paradise.
No more; where ignorance is bliss,
'Tis folly to be wise."
      -Thomas Gray

In other words knowing what could have come or will come can stifle your happyness. Don't let it bother you.

Thanks baby.

I love you.