My city...

Erie's main industry is aspiration. People and entities in Erie are always working on, or about to do something...about to. Erie: We aspire to aspire...sorta

Erie is a town on a lake. There's this huge peninsula that juts out into it. You can drive along it's length and look out the window at the trees and birds. In Erie, everything is an excuse to drive along the peninsula.

Bored? Let's drive aroound the peninsula!
Excited? Let's drive around the peninsula!
Broke? Lets drive around the peninsula!
My cousin was attacked by gerbils? Let's drive around the peninsula!

Erie is a big hole. Go downtown. Just before you hit the water, there's a dock and  tower. If you turn around and look back at Erie, Everything you see, from that point on, is at a higher elevation than where you're at.
In the center of Erie, you're at the bottom. Look at the bright side: You can only go up from here.

In Erie, when you turn 21, you go to a bar. Then, when you turn 30, you might leave.
That is, if there's something good on TV.

In Erie, some things are acceptable all year round. Well maybe one. It's called winter. Maybe you've heard of it.

Erie has beaches. If anyone ever says anything bad about Erie, expect someone to bring them up.
Example:
Q: Did you hear Erie has lost all electricity and was recently overrun by frogs, locusts, flies, and flying zombie squirrels?
A: Yeah, but what other place do you know, that has beaches? Beaches, man! Beaches!

Erie has a natural inferiority complex. Sometimes, people who grow up there will say they're from somewhere else, especially when out-of-towners are around. The mere mention of a city anywhere close to the size of a metropolis is akin to an action story.

Example:
Guy: Hey, lamos! I just moved back here from Whoville!
Group of giggling females: He's sooooo awesome!

A few years ago, Erie got a new highway. But it's not very high--speed that is. If you're on Erie's Bayfront Highway, and you see an object blur past you, don't be angry or alarmed. It's probably just a biker. They usually seem to be in a hurry.