Still remembering what I saw. Remembering what happened. Remembering what I did. And trying to make that choice.

Okay, so I got up to the bit where the Master left us billions of years in the future. The Doctor, me and Jack followed him back to Earth. Back home. It was so bad. Looking back, I remember just how helpless I felt and how I saw things that nobody should have to see. And how we ended up just having to hide to try and survive.

Which at least gave me and Jack the chance to get the Doctor to tell us the truth about the man who ruined everything. He's like the Doctor gone wrong. Another Time Lord but broken. I still can't get my head around how he was Professor Yana. The Professor was so brave and sweet but behind it all was this monster. The Doctor wanted to save the Master. And me and Jack – we wanted to kill him. I'm guessing that makes us the bad guys but we're only human. Yet, considering what happened... I'm still wondering whether I had the right idea. Which is such a terrible thing for me to think. But then again, you don't know what happened next.

The thing is, the Master was Harry Saxon. He travelled back in time and he was Saxon all along. And that's so strange because, I know who Saxon was. I knew about him before I met the Doctor. I watched him on telly and everything. It's like that timey-wimey stuff all over again. When I watched him on Newsnight, the day before I met the Doctor, he was the Master. He knew then who I was. And when I left, he used my family. He took them and used them to get at me. To get the Doctor. And for me it's been months but for them? It's only about a week. I suppose, if I'm going to find a bright side in all this, that's quite funny really. It wasn't the best week the Jones family have ever had. Leo's birthday, Lazarus' party, end of the world. Yeah, dead funny.

So, the Master brought these creatures to Earth. They were called the Toclafane and... and I still can't believe what they really were. The things they did to people. Obviously, you saw the President being murdered but that was just the start of it. The world as we knew it ended and I was on my own. Oh I remember how I used to pray for a bit of peace from my family, from Julia, from Stoker and my mates and... well, I guess the Master gave me that. He won. He had Mum and Dad and Tish. He had Jack. He had the Doctor. And I had to leave them all behind so I could save them.

And I watched as the world burned. The sky orange with fire. The trees covered in ash. The streets red with blood. And I can still hear the screaming. It's there in my head and I don't think that'll ever go away.

What feels like so much more than just a few months ago, I started this blog with "Hey – my name is Martha Jones and this is the story of my life."... now I'm going to really tell you that story. A life none of you know about.

I'm going to tell you the truth about what happened to Martha Jones.