It’s been a wild few months: I’ve been to Vancouver for a visit to Regent College (and an unexpected airport encounter with Kristen Schaal—at least I’m convinced it was her); I’ve served in Jamaica, New Orleans, and Mississippi; I’ve been making necessary preparations and saying goodbyes in order to move to Canada in a few weeks for at least three years to finish up my MDiv at Regent; A Soup Named Stew played two super fantastic (final) shows in July (much thanks to Jason Smith for stepping in last minute at the second to last show); I released a new solo CD in July; I played some very nice (final for now) solo shows with a great backup band each time; I visited with friends from Germany and China and other places; I made some new dear friends (especially if your last name rhymes with cangibber); I learned lessons of life and love (and heartbreak); and I enjoyed the fact that I am living fully and loving life now, knowing life does not begin once I’m married, or done with school, or get signed, or in love, or have everything figured out, or (fill in the blank.)
I’m aware of at least two areas God has been instructing me this summer. First is for proper discernment to occur for an individual a community element is almost always necessary; discernment should happen within the context of the supportive Body of Christ. Those who seek first His Kingdom and His Righteousness should come alongside one another to help individuals discern. Second is the relationship between service, humility, and submission. They all go together. We recognize our humble position: God is in charge, and we are His subjects. We serve God; God does not serve us. In order to be a true servant one must be submitted to the one in charge. God is Good and Loving. He has chosen us when we have been jerkwads to Him. Our response should be to serve Him and do the Loving, Good things He asks of us. In submission we don’t always get to know all the details as the master does, but in submission we are free from the need to complain. When we complain it is because we have unmet expectations and we want to control things. When we surrender our control in service to Christ we can trust in His Goodness and Sovereignty. We can pray instead of complaining when we serve God. God is not a punk, and He knows what’s going on in our lives. He wants willing, humble servants who trust in who He is. This is the type of person I would like to be.
Recently I was affirmed by a team of fellow servants in youth ministry. Many said a word they saw in my life was integrity. I was semi-shocked about this. I think most of the time people affirm me in this sort of setting they say I’m funny (not that you would ever know it just by reading my thoughts). Maybe sometimes they say I’m passionate too. Sometimes my musical talents come up. Those are all fine things for which I’m thankful and decently self-aware; therefore that’s really what I expected to hear in this affirmation session. But when the word integrity came out a few times I didn’t know how to respond. To my recollection integrity is not a word that has come up often to describe my life in these contexts. In my analytical pessimism I’m wondering if these persons didn’t know me very well so they just said something nice and buzz word group-think occurred. Hopefully not though; I have spent numerous hours with these people, so they know things about me. I’m hoping instead God blessed me with a fresh word to encourage me, and He was working through them for me to receive the message that even with my shortcomings He’s pleased with me. I certainly strive to be a man of integrity (particularly in God’s Eyes), but I didn’t think I was doing a great job at it—I mean not enough for that to be the primary word defining me in others’ eyes. I know I can always do better and I’ve got my sins like anyone else so I was just surprised that integrity came up to describe me. I struggle with self-centeredness, and I struggle even more with even caring about how self-centered I really am—and that scares me! But I always want to trust in who God is—Merciful, Grace giving, and Faithful: God not only forgives me when I never could earn it (Merciful); He blesses me on top of that Mercy (Grace giving); also He is committed to complete the project He’s begun in David Loti (Faithful). Oh yes! I want my understanding of God to change me, and to solicit the appropriate response: to live a life of integrity.
I’m about to turn 29. I cannot help but think about Five Iron Frenzy’s At Least I'm Not Like All Those Other Old Guys. I’m excited my friends Andy and Shannon are throwing me a going away/birthday party. That will be extra nice. I have good friends. In fact on Sunday in church I started to cry thinking about the people I’m leaving in Baton Rouge (and maybe a bit too on how clueless I seem in my life). But I’m off to some good things in Canada. I think it’ll be super sweet. I’m excited. Here we go on an adventure! I don’t know where it’ll lead, but I sense in the future we will find it served our greatest need.
You are loved and appreciated.
davidloti=davidloti