Out Of the Desert & Into the Son
Current mood: 
thankful
By Lindsay R. Pisani's (Linz) A testimony of God's love, majesty, and existence
I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart at age 20, while I was rolling on ecstasy. He can use anything!
I've always felt Him before I knew who He was. I also always felt a great deal of purpose or importance. You know truth in your heart weather you can make sense of it or not. God has blessed me with a great discernment, spiritual understanding and wisdom. I always knew there was something special or set apart, if you will, about Jesus and Christians (1Christian - the name given by the Greeks or Romans, probably in reproach, to the followers of Jesus ("little Christ's!"). It was first used at Antioch. The names by which the disciples were known among themselves were "brethren," "the faithful," "elect," "saints," "believers." But as distinguishing them from the multitude without, the name "Christian" came into use, and was universally accepted. This name occurs but three times in the New Testament (Acts 11:26; 26:28; 1 Peter 4:16). I just could not put my finger on it. Something inside me always told me I would get baptized in my life, which was weird coming from a Jewish family. Which by the way I have no idea what being Jewish is all about, which devastates me.
My search for God had me looking to every religion, and little did I know at the time, religion has almost nothing to do with God. Religion is quite the opposite of freedom. The occult fascinated me. It was so easy to fall into that seduction. It looked like truth and it gave way to a new interest of mine, which were aliens. In my study of the occult, ancient Egypt, demonology, and aliens, I saw a connection, but it was beyond my understanding at the time.
Meanwhile I was going through a really hard time. I was just entering 6th grad. Every one hated me. No exaggeration! One time during lunch, kids circled around me and through rocks at me. I was failing school miserably and was horribly depressed. So my Mom took me to doctors to see if I had ADD/ADHD. I was on all sorts of medication. First they made me very under weight. I was already skinny. At some point in their infinite wisdom they decided I was bipolar and put me on medication that made me gain 60-70lb. Needless to say the depression got worse and I tried to kill myself. Apparently the medication worked. Sorry, I digress. The truth is I was too scared to do it. I knew where I was going. I did not want to be here, but I knew I certainly did not want to go there. I truly believe we all know where we are going. So I compromised and started cutting my self to release the pain, heart ache, and loneliness.
Now in High school I was trying to get love through sex. Again I was not going to find it this way. My only comfort was the average American diet and lots of it. I found my self bouncing from 180-210lbs. I flunked everything, excluding photo and art. I had no interests in anything else. Honestly, I found everything to be meaningless and boring. I knew that there had to be more to life than eating, screwing, working, school, and sleep. It was all entirely too mundane for me. I finally got out of high school four and a half years later by the grace of God. I had stopped practicing Wicca soon after I had a dream of Christ Jesus crucifixion, in which after seeing this, I found myself in the battle of Armageddon. Out of all my dreams from God, this is the one that has stuck with me the most. Yet I still had no understanding of the truth. The alien thing quickly and swiftly turned into my worst fear. As I found myself having my own encounters and experiences. I now believe I was repeatedly abducted.
After high school I did not do too much but, eat, sleep and party. Worldly meaningless crap and I was completely idle and spiritually imprisoned. I just wanted to find a man that would truly love me and never leave me. My relationships with men were always dysfunctional. I guess it's a side affect of never knowing your father. I only had one actual boyfriend for 3 or 4 years in high school, and that was messed.
In September of 2004 I met a man waiting tables at Denny's. He was obviously a broken man. I was a sucker for that stuff. I wanted to be someone's reason for living, a savior or something. We became the best of friends in a matter of two weeks, at that end of which I agreed to move in with him. At the end of October I did. I moved in for fleshy reasons, and I wanted out of my Mom's house.
Living there was interesting. I never was prone to drugs. I really only ever drank at parties and maybe a joint here and there. Although, I have never smoked so much pot, as when I lived with this man, which was fine. A time and a place, I suppose. I was curious though, and I felt safe with this man. So, when the ecstasy came around I opted for it, and it was freaking awesome. Nevertheless, it is what it is, and it gave way to a year long addiction that climaxed in me doing 18 pills in one night (Psalm 91:11-12). Maybe by the third time we rolled together, he asked me if I believe Jesus is the Christ, and I said "Yes." After we came down he asked if I wanted to take it back. In that instant I realized that spiritually no small feat had been accomplished, so I said, "No."
I started going to church and reading the bible. It was difficult at first, considering all through high school I was plagued with a so called learning disability, which I know now was a work of the evil one to keep me low. I never really read a book or anything for that matter. I also had formed a KJV-only view. I was not making it any easier for myself, but your brain is a muscle, you need to challenge it.
I remember one night I was so heavily attacked, it was like the evil one himself was trying to get me to denounce Jesus Christ. At this point, I had burned all my tarot cards, wicca & occult books. I had never seen a fire rage quite like that one. It was an intense site. One, that made us realize the unseen war going on around us.
I also remember wanting, so badly, to hear an audible voice from God, and one night I did. He simply said, with a voice like 1,000 waterfalls, yet soft like a cool gentle breeze in summer, "Lindsay, I am the Lord your God." God will do some awesome stuff in the beginning. Whatever you need to make your faith secure.
I was baptized on November 27, 2005. I was celibate from that moment on (1 Thessalonians 4:3-12). Soon after this, the man I lived with prayed over me one night. That was the first time a demon came out of me. Almost immediately after that I was able to speak in tongues. It was like someone opened the flood gates. For days after that they constantly ran through my head. It was awesome!
In the mist of all of this I started dating my roommate. We were "in love" except he had a big problem with my weight. Regardless of his feeling about it, I was overweight and did not want to be. So I did what the bible said. I prayed about it and I asked God to will me to loose weight and get off the meds. A year or two later I was 130lb and med free!
He showed me the truth about a lot of things at that time, especially about aliens, and that they are demons. They are the fallen angels, which are spoken of in Genesis 6. They are not extraterrestrials but inner-terrestrials coming from the heart of the earth. Hell as it is, just where the bible said it is in Matthew 12:40 and Ephesians 4:9. Also, in a book called Beyond Death's Door by Dr. Rawlings on p.85 he states, "Patients who described hell said, ". . . this place seems to be underground or within the earth in some way." If you ever have had an alien abduction experience, (Well, lets just call a spade a spade, if you've ever been demonically abused and abducted) the place where they take you seems like it's under ground. As for the lights in the sky, they are a seductive illusion. Quite captivating aren't they? In 2 Corinthians chapter 2 11:14 we learn that the evil one can take the form of an angel of light. Also, through out the ages and in certain cults, he is referred to as the light bearer. About the government, the people who are really in charge, have been so since Babylon (yet we all know that God is truly in charge).
The man I lived with loves God, please don't think otherwise. He was however, extremely tormented. We wanted to get married, so he moved out to make it right. It was only through a little space that he became very obsessive, controlling, and then eventually abusive. It was a slow, painful, and traumatic end. My periods and bowel movements slowed and soon completely stopped. By the end of 2006 my body started completely shutting down! It was horrible, and to add to the stress, I had gone through four jobs in 3months. I could not handle working under all that stress. Plus, I was getting traffic tickets after traffic tickets and finally got my license taken away. At this point (summer '07) I got a job working in a vitamin department at a health food store. I was doing what I loved to do, helping people heal naturally. Although, the people I worked with added to my stress level and I just seemed to get worse. At its worst I would not move my bowels for a week and a half. Laxatives would not work. I had no money or insurance, and my family would not help me. I finally got some cash to see an NMD. We ran a few tests but nothing came up. She did send me to a woman named 2Sherri Hered who is a Body Stress Release (BSR) Practitioner. What a blessing! She was able to get my period back, but no movement in my bowels though.
I just could not shake this dark evil feeling. At the end of '07 my job became intolerable. So I got a job at one of the best natural grocery stores in town doing the same thing. I was loved and appreciated there. I was trying to figure out a way to go to bible collage, but it was just adding to the stress. One night at work I met a man named 3Dr. Love (no really). God showed him how to heal people using flower essence and SAF counseling. I decided to take his homeopathy certification program, which God has been using in amazing ways in my life.
Even with these new advances in my life, I had an awesome job and I started dating the most loving guy I have ever met. I was learning and healing, from not only a homeopathic doctor, but a Christian spiritualist who has done more good and gotten more movement in my bowels than anyone else before him.
I still could not shake this evil presence, until I had made plans to pray with a friend of mine for healing. After church one night, we ran off to the worship center. She began to pray and I think even before she did, I started seeing angels circling around us and Gods light descending down upon us. There were times it was so bright and I was afraid to open my eyes. By the time she started in tongues, I heard angels singing. When she took up her sword (spoke scripture) I saw it come out of me wounded. A brother walked in during this and later told me he felt sick upon entering. This was the second demon that was cast out of me.
When this was all over we went to hug each other good bye and the Holy Spirit came over us like a title wave! I think I might have lost my footing. He spoke through her prophecy about my relationship with Him, my life, and my purpose. He made it clear that He cares more about my healing than anything else. All thstuff I am ment to do in my life and all he wants right now for me is to heal. Love has endles depths.
Now here I stand in truth and life, praying I reaching the dead with these words. You never know just how truly imprisoned and lifeless you are until you're out in the warm sun, breathing your first breath of true, everlasting, crisp, clean life!!
This goes out with love & peace to my family, in Christ Jesus. Amen.
1.) Calvary Chapel of San Bernardino Theological Terms & Definitions as posted on there website at http://www.calvarysbd.com/terms.htm
2.) You can reach Sherri Hered at (480)- 252-2274 or go to www.bodystressrelease.us
3.) You can reach Dr. Love at (406)-585-0774. Sign up for his cores or just get treated no matter what the illness.