RETAINERS: Waste of Time 7"
A friend of mine was raving to me about this band a couple months back.  "The only band worth a shit these days is The Retainers.  Get their singles.  It will knock your dick in the dirt," he tells me.  Herrmmmm...  Okay, I gotta check these guys out.  Let's be honest, there's not a whole hell of a lot in punk rock these days that is exactly capable of "knocking your dick in the dirt."  Two quick blasts of lo-fi and totally blown out KBD-influenced punk rock from this prolific outfit.  The songs are loud, abrasive, and a bit loose and jangly.  The Retainers do what any worthwhile punk does: they come on loud and fast and cut it short before you even have time to collect your thoughts, although the tempo change on the B-side, "Die Baby Die," allows for some introspection, but still...  The A-side, "Waste of Time," is from their LP on P. Trash.  I guess I need to go shower and get the dirt off my dick.  It would be quite strange if I was just standing over the sink doing this and my wife walked in.  "Its not what it looks like honey!" -M.Avrg (Fashionable Idiots, fashionableidiots.com)