1. If I get new glasses, I’m probably going to get like a huge head-mountable perscription fishbowl. It fits my lifestyle.

2. I’ve polled everyone I know, and the results are in..."I should move 4 feet to the left of where I am, at all times."

3. What I think is a horse, is a bull with a donkey’s tail and ears.

4. Waking up too early is exactly like throwing up into a spaghetti strainer.

5. I think everything would work better if I said it through a Mr. Microphone, especially at close range.

6. Graphic designers don’t get cavities!

7. I’m getting that feeling again, that one that comes right before the feeling where I realize that I’m on the verge of a time where I might have a breakthrough.