Abide

That’s my new word: Abide. It’s been coming at me from all directions. Some of your may know that “Be Still” has haunted me for the past eight years. (Read about the beginning of the story on our website www.lornalarry.com.)

At first it was a 2x4 across the head reminding me that I wasn’t in charge and really had no control of much of what happened to me. The last onslaught of “Be Still” was a month ago when I went to visit daughter Kim in Texas for a long weekend. It came at me from ALL directions – spoken, through music, and through people I met there. But this time, instead of feeling like a hammer blow, it felt more like confirmation that I was actually doing it and had been for some time.

Now it’s “Abide.” The dictionary defines it as follows:

1.

to remain; continue; stay

2.

to have one's abode; dwell; reside

3.

to continue in a particular condition, attitude, relationship, etc.; last.

I think the message for me is that I am to continue to be still and trust that the very best will happen, regardless of the current “reality.”

So today, the first day of my unemployment, I followed that old philosophy “begin as you wish to end.” I have put off exercising and getting in better shape. I made lots of excuses: I was too stressed, I didn’t have time, etc.

Today I arose, showered and headed over to Lindora. I had already signed up and done the prep work. Today is Day 1. I am committed, financially and psychologically, to work at getting the excess weight off. Not so that I will look better, although I expect that will happen as well. But I’ve felt sluggish which only exaggerates the mild depression I’ve felt ever since the announcement of the failure of my former employer, Downey Savings, in November.

Second on the agenda was a trip to the marina for a walk. Kim and I used to do this every Saturday morning. It was our time to talk and at the same time enjoy this beautiful place we live. I’ve rarely done it since she moved to Texas four years ago. That activity belonged to the two of us. But now it’s time.

The morning was gray and overcast with just a hint of mist. Perfect walking weather. I plugged my headphones into my iPod, and strode out, listening to my favorite music. I have nearly 8000 “favorites” loaded on the iPod. Today’s random selection included religious, classical, soft rock, a show tune, new age – just what I needed.

I started at the coffee place and headed toward the Ocean Institute. Once there, I sat on a bench and enjoyed the antics of a baby sea lion on one of the rocks. Then I started back. The “Spirit of Dana Point” was crowded with a group of school-age kids and another group was waiting to board the “Pilgrim.” I was reminded how very lucky we are to have these magnificent tall ships in our harbor.

As I passed Baby Beach, an elegant great blue heron stood in the water, head stretched high as if he were posing just for me. Then he began to walk in the shallow water, ripples moving out as he stepped, his beak occasionally bobbing for morsels under the surface. Abiding.

Throughout the morning, I repeated the mantra Kim and I always said at some point during our walks together: “People spend lots o money to enjoy this place, and we get to live here!”

So I am feeling blessed beyond measure. Today truly is a gift, and I was especially conscious of this.

Today is your gift as well. So be blessed, and abide in it.