It's 6am. I can't sleep. Theres a lot on my mind. A lot of things I can't stop. It's difficult for me to graspe on the fact that i can't be in control of everything or protect everyone. Staying optimistic is the right thing to do. I guess I really don't need anyone to tell me everything is going to be better tomorrow. Because I know with every passing night, every passing slumber, every passing breath theres new possibilities and new beginnings.

I've been through enough bullshit to realize whats happening right now is trite, unimportant, and 100% petty.

I think this is so hard for me because I'm always used to being so strong and so incontrol. I don't think of my self as emontionaly weak or susceptible to such tumulted feelings. Everyone has their down moments. I guess mine is right now. I just need to pick my self up, move on, and hope for the best tomorrow.

Whenever I get down. I like to think of things that mean a lot to me right now. Things I'm thankful for. I've always said, "Things could always be a lot worse." Thats absolutely true. I could be a lot worse. I'm thankful things are as good as they are. I will always be thankful for my good friends. They are what gets me up every morning. They are what makes me take every breath. They are what makes me smile. They are the reason I'm here and the person I am today and to be hoenst. I'm more happy with my self today than I ever have been.

I just miss things. But, I know deep down I need to let them go and move on. Because dwelling gets you no where. You waste the right now moment and in life. Right now is whats most important.