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Last Updated: 11/17/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 18
Sign: Leo

City: wouldntYOUliketoknow
State: Georgia
Country: US
Signup Date: 3/20/2007

Who Gives Kudos:

Tek (2)
Friday, September 05, 2008 

Current mood:  annoyed
Category: Life
Alright, so, yeah.
I've come to the realization, erm, a few I guess today, that I'm really disturbingly self centered.
Things have sucked a good deal the past mmmm, couple years, and the thing is, it's my fault. Anything I can think of that's depressing me right now, are stupid things that are my fault anyway. So, here's what I'ma do about it. Nope, just kidding, I forgot already, but when I remember my plan, I will tell you, or this, or myself. I remember, kinda, ok, so, first off, I'm beginning with going to spend some time with my family at lake hartwell this week end as opposed to being alone, or with my friend . . . s. Yeah, I'm lacking there as well. I have only a handful of friends but only like, two of them are really around and I mistreat them as it is. Which is why I only have two and a half. I need to be a better friend so I can have some more and so the people that arent my friends will stop not talking to me. I need to stop acting so crazy around people as well, maybe that will help. I also have to consider how peevish I am when it comes to people. I can say I honestly dont know a single person that every other day I cant stand. It's horrible, I'm horrible. I need to let go of the stupid things that annoy me, they arent that bad and I'm going to lose what I have over them. Most importantly, I need to start thinking about other people more and be happy, genuinely happy for other people, even if I'm not happy. Having said all this, I'm not going to be on the computer for a few days till I sort out all this mess. Mk, thanks guys, all of you for putting up with me, love you!
2:14 AM
 
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Jackie
J K

 
You are not selfish ok? I promise you are a good friend and I love you for you. So do alot of other people. Everything is gonna be alright. Life sux monkey ballz and you don't deserve it. I wish I could do something to make it better, but I can't. I'm just here so that if you need to talk I'm here. You are not alone ever. That is a fact proven because alot of people love you. You're amazing and beautiful and talented and my best friend. You're my hero. <3
 
Posted by Jackie on Thursday, September 04, 2008 - 10:09 PM
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Tek

 
I think that you are going through a lot of stuff. Life seems to have been only getting worse for you for the past couple of years...

You need to look at the good times. Yes, they have been spare, weak, and rare. Thus making your struggle seem not worth it. Therein lies the problem. Life is not a struggle. Take a step back and relax. You cannot take full responsibility for the bad things that happen to your friends. Even if it all your fault (which it isn't) what can you do about the past? Nothing. What you need to do is be more optimistic about YOURSELF. People can, will, and do love you for who you are. The people who don't see your fantabulous qualities are not worth it. Its not quantity when it comes to loved ones. Its quality, if someone loves you, that should be enough, don't bring yourself down that you don't have 100 friends who call you up everyday wanting to hang out with you. Harsh, yes, but listen to me: be thankful for what you have.

People can be horrible, you can be horrible, but its rare. That really doesn't make you horrible. If you care, I think thats all that matters right now. Care about yourself so you can care about others. You've always had difficulties doing that. I'm not expecting for you to have fantastic self-esteem after reading this. But I think you should try harder, and if you're trying your hardest, lemme tell you something you're not trying hard enough.

You're a wonderful person. Start to realize that.
You aren't the best communicator when it comes to expressing your feelings with words; but you aren't a bad communicator. If you're telling the whole world that you're a horrible person though yourself, they might just believe you.

Try telling the world something else...

Your loving friend,
TekBoi
 
Posted by Tek on Thursday, September 04, 2008 - 11:58 PM
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