Growing up I remember feeling, love me, love me, love me...please wont you love me, never did I feel that I was, which left me wounded and longing.

I left home and got into my first serious relationship, love me, love me, love me...please wont you love me.  That turned really, really bad and left me wounded and longing.

Then I met my husband, and again love me, love me, love me,....please wont you love me.  That turned really bad and we broke up, leaving me wounded and longing.  We got back together after a 5 month split, this time, I expected a whole lot less and decided to settle for what I had and went on to get married with the thought..."Oh well at least I wont be alone!", and that left me longing.

Thirteen years had passed and I was still longing, oh my God Im so alone, husband, 3 kids but Im so alone.  So I went looking.... please love me, love me, love me, why cant you love me, nothing , nowhere, cant be found.  Brick wall, smash, many, many pieces.

Then a Light came shining through a Hand came reaching down, picked me up, and held me, so so close like a mother holds her child, I felt warm and safe and loved for the first time truly loved and He showed me all the times since I was a newborn He had been there for me, watching caring, grieving when I grieved cheering when I succeeded, protecting when I needed protecting and guiding when I needed guiding. 

But Im so alone who can I share my life with me, my thoughts, hopes dreams, no one is really interested in me, then I felt Him smile at me, and He said to me " I am" and He showed me all the past times He had encouraged me to do the things I longed to do but were too afraid.  He supported me all the way to completion and triumphed with me.  WOW yea, I remember that.

Ok sure I have felt your Love like a parent's love, and that is so good, I feel your friendship and now I no longer feel alone, but I so desperately long for the passion of someone who deeply loves me, like that of a lover, I bet you can't do that, that is a love only a husband can show me, and I dont believe Ill ever have that.

Then He told me no, you never will that is true, that is if you look to people to fullfill that need, they can only love so much and to a point before their selfish needs and desires enter into the relationship as do yours, no one will ever be perfect, ever.  I sat there feeling very sad, but then He asked me to define what I thought this passionate love was so I went away and thought.

I came back and said I would want to be the most valuable possesion in that persons life. The thing they would most hate to loose, the one they think of first and last of each day, that if i hurt they hurt, if i felt joy they did, the most beautiful, the most talented, the most special in that persons eyes, a true soulmate one that makes up the missing part in my life, two as one.

Then He smiled again, and said "How does this sound?"

"What if there was a King, the most high King that lived in a beautiful palace, in a beautiful palace, but He heard your cry and left that place of beauty and subjected Himself to putrid conditions compared to where He lived to try and get to you and bring you home to be with Him away from the putrid rotting exhistence He saw you endure, that He suffered physically, which He did not have to, but because He loved you so much and wanted you to not hurt anymore, and then because it was necessary for Him to bring you back with Him had to pay with His life and untold suffering, just for you, would that be enough for you?" "What if this person, longs and grieves everyday just like you, for you to spend time with Him, to share your life with Him, to walk together as one"  "Would you want to meet Him, let Him into your life, would you love Him and Trust Him if you knew this to be true"

Then it was I that smiled, for at last I could see, yes I had had that all along but could not see it, I did not see He loved me as a parent, and that He loved me like a friend, and He loved me as a lover too.

It feels so good to never, ever, have to rely on another person for this love, I can be free to love and not hold back, I can love and not expect anything back, I no longer need love, I have it already... always did.

So being married, unmarried, single, in a relationship wont fix anything, for anyone, you will always be lacking.  Maybe you will try another way to fill that gap:  career success, money, gambling, drinking, drugs, sex, food, sporting achievment, you get the picture.  You cant, you wont, keep trying if you must, but there is another Answer, much much easier to obtain.

He waits and longs for you to know what I know now.  He wants you to have that peace that I now have.  He did what He did for me and for you, and for everyone.  Ahhh but dont be fooled because if you were the only one, He still would have done it.  It is a personal thing for each and everyone of us.  Believe it, receive it!!!

If this speaks to you go back to the begining of this blog read, Pit 1,2,3, and The Rope.