Biased Opinion's legal team has advised us that we could be sued for libel if any of the articles in this column turn out to be false or slanderous. Well there's no danger of that. Every item is checked and double checked for accuracy. Our sources are both discreet and reliable.
Anyway Biased Opinion is not easily scared off. Let Mcdonalds take us on. Go on try it again Ronald you fucking little prick. Your 3 cent hamburgers are shit. You tear down the rainforests. You're full of shit, you and all the other motherfuckers out there. Sue us cause we're saying that your hamburgers are full of maggots. We're not afraid to stand up and be counted!!!
AND Our name is Vespucci de Mario and we live inna Napoli inna the poor aparta de town. Pleese a senda us de emails. Tenks.

Continuing on the theme of trust, it appears that there are other readers who doubt Biased Opinions ability to present an honest and balanced case. Everything in these columns is the gospel truth but as a compromise to the doubting toms we will in future insert a sentence or phrase where the narrative deems it necessary that will ensure the reader that the information in question is absoloutely one hundred percent true.
No. No really. I'm deadly serious.
Also, to further protect our asses we shall rename all public figures, eg. Brad Pitt will become Brid Patt.

My My who would have thought it? After all this time we now find out that Londa Livelace, star of the 70's porn movie 'Deep Throat' is actually Merk Falt, a former FBI agent. Fuck my old boots I've heard of the Bangkok shemales but this is ridiculous. How did he pull that one off?

Six people were killed in riots in Karachi when a Kentucky Fried Chicken was burned to the ground after a suicide bomber blew himself up in a mosque in the city. No this is really true I swear it and if you don't believe it just look it up in CNN or whatever. I mean what is going on? Someone blows up a mosque so they go and burn down a KFC. That really makes sense.

On second thoughts.... I suppose it makes more sense than burning down Ali's felalfel stand.
Rule number one for third world rioters. Go American. If that's not available go European. Only if there are no western targets available is it legitimate to burn down Ali's felafel stand.

My radical little old lady friend from beautiful downtown Burbank advises readers, in a frantic email to Biased Opinion, not to go 'within a thousand mile radius of California'.
Oh I wouldn't go as far as to say that. California's not all that bad. If it weren't for California we would never have had 'California Dreaming' or 'Hotel California'.
Eager to find a third example of indispensable californian cultural icons, and not wanting to use the obvious 'Baywatch', since even Biased Opinion's readers are probably well informed enough to know that baywatch, or jugwatch as it was known down our street, fucked off to Hawaii eventually. So I turned to Google, but on getting 412 million pages for 'california' I decided that my previous two examples were sufficient.

It appears that a over 140 cities in the United States, representing 32 million americans, have decided to go it alone and comply with the Kyoto agreement for greenhouse gas emissions limits, something which the White House has repeatedly refused to do, so circumventing Washington's outrageous moral corruption.
Once again George W. Bish ends up with egg on his face. White house officials are at this moment scraping the offending material off the Evil Bish's face and it will be dried, turned into powder, and sold to Mozambique who will purchase it using a World Bank loan at a compound interest rate of 27 per cent per annum payable in sugar at 0.3 cents per ton.

A radeer has snet in tihs vrey insnretetig ltilte spinept. Wehn you jmbule up all the lrtetes ecpxet the fsrit and the lsat oens i'ts sitll tltaoly rabdaele. uealibvbenle!

Mr Tony Blair is going to Washington this week for talks at the White House. Treacherous Tony and the Evil Bish will no doubt be discussing ways of dealing with the hornet's nest that Bob Geldof has stirred up regarding the forthcoming G8 summit in July. Geldof's call for a million protesters at Gleneagles has pissed Blair right off. Meanwhile anarchist groups from around the world are converging on Scotland intent on making themselves heard and turning the 'make poverty history' campaign into 'make capitalism history'. Well the more the merrier I say.

A Mrs Peacock, writes to me from Florida in the USA. Probably in reference to yesterday's Arts&Culture item she states simply that “I was named after Madonna”. She probably expects sympathy.
Big deal Mrs Peacock. George Bish was named after George Bish. Beat that one. And besides if they really wanted to name you after Madonna they should have called you 'Madonna', not Peacock.
Look on the bright side. They could have named you Elton.

G8 summit news.
I phoned up Bob Geldof to try and get a freebee for the train up to Scotland. What? It's fucking loads of money for a train all the way to Edinburgh. My social security cheque is only enough to cover drugs and alchohol.
“Bob” I said “Bob is that you?”
“Yes, this is Bob Nesbitt, reception. How can I help you”.
“Put me through to Geldof there's a good lad” I said. “Tell him it's Biased Opinion”
"Mr Geldof is very busy at the moment but if you'd like to leave your name and number I'm sure somebody will get back to you”.
Well I can recognise a brush off when I see one. The trouble with these 'personalities' is that they're scared to have the muck raked. I can see it now. “Dont let Biased Opinion on the bus. He'll find out all about the drugs and whores”.

I may have arranged something much better anyway. Looks like I might be getting a ride up north with one of the direct-action people. Goes by the codename Fatkopfukker. Real hardcore. This will put me right in the thick of it, where all the action will be.
It really just depends on whether he can borrow his mum's car or not.

Gute nacht damen

Complaints can be sent to alwaysready666@hotmail.co.uk but will most likely be ignored.