The last time I REALLY wrote a blog like all long and winded was some time ago. Also last time i wrote about how I felt emotionally was quite some time ago. But now for a recap of what's happened since July.
Jason Michael Reynolds and myself are still together and our feeling for each other are getting stronger everyday whether we are together are apart. Since July He's seen a lot of ups and downs and had the stresses of his life overcome him. but i've been there for him and was the one there for him when he needed a shoulder to rest on. He's currently back in Chicago getting away from the chaotic life he had while he was here last that could have taken his life. So He's back home for a year - 15 months. I think It's what's best for him I'm not mad that he left because i feel it's good for him to get away from here for a while. I mean he said goodbye to me before he left and we still talk on the phone and text each other when he's not busy with work.

Anyways had the guy that caused my break up with my ex IM me like months ago like right after Jay left telling me he doesn't want to be my friend but wants to be more. I can't indulge that wish because I feel like Jay is what I want even from the first day we met I fell head over heels for him and can remember so much of the time we have spent together.

I remember our first date when we met up and I was so nervous and he touched my shoulder to reassure me. He'd given me yellow tulips they were so pretty. We couldn't decide to go to the movies or go to dinner but went to dinner in old town only for him to later lecture me on my only eating soup.  after that my heart was pounding and i couldn't wait to see him again. A couple days later we met up again and went to hang out at his house watch a college foot ball game. He wrote me a love note and gave me chocolate....I don't really like chocolate if it's lacking in nuts...so I still have them.

Valentine's day....I still hate valentines day with a passion but even though he missed it he was still here to me.

Blah blah blah  between here  and now lots of bad things happened but we are still together wanting to see each other every day. he even knows now that I can cook more than peach cobbler and cookies even though I love making deserts. I can make a mean pasta dinner (that tastes like his grandma's).

hopefully the next year goes by fast  of i can at least go visit him back home ( which is also my hometown.)  My heat aches for him and at night I want to be held by him. I think I finally found what I was looking for so long ago....the one for me and only me.


Moving on I'm on quarantine until after the 11th sooo yeah not fun have problems breathing at night that like send me into panic attacks  other than that I'm alive.  The boyfriend person is aware of the situation. But nothing he can do since he's not here.

I'm back at school doing my graphic design thing and all.

but if anybody really cares I'm doing good not hurt and living life to the fullest while god watches over and guides me through all my hard times only to make things better.

Life is good and god is great.