............
Sometimes it feels a little
strange that I've performed my songs in front of hundreds of people, given how
intimate and personal they are. I
started singing when I was 8 years old and there’s a ton of details I could
give you about how it all happened. I could go in depth about the meaning of my
songs and my style - but really, you can just take a listen to get that.
So instead, I’d like to tell the story of how I was “thrown to the wolves” on
my first performance as a singer/songwriter 14 years ago. I think it will actually give you more
insight.....
.. ..
I had just written my first
few songs when I also got my first true fan – Ric “Skippy” Major. We were
both working at a popular nightclub at which he was the house sound
engineer. Performing that night was a national touring act from Germany
called Fury in the Slaughterhouse. Ric
mentioned to the lead singer that I was a singer/songwriter and he responded
“Well, she should open for us tonight!” Ric came and told me I would be
opening that night about an hour before show time! Not that more time would have made me any
more prepared. ....
.. ..
I had been working that day
as a stagehand, filling the band’s contract requirements, taking them to K Mart
to buy underwear (literally, as they’d been living on a tour bus for weeks) and
helping them fax ten page letters to their loved ones back home in
Germany. ....
.. ..
I was a mess - wearing a
borrowed men’s XL Madonna T-shirt that had the arms and collar ripped out of it,
exposing my black bra. It was more like a dress on my small 100 pound body than
a shirt. Very “rocker” like, I must say, but at the time I was very shy about
that kind of thing and mortified that I was going on stage dressed like
that. (Madonna would have been proud!) ....
.. ..
I got up on stage with the
first guitar I ever owned - a 12-string Framus that I had taught myself how to
play on and that never stayed in tune. If I remember correctly, it is a
German guitar - funny coincidence. All I remember about the actual performance
was that I was shaking when I walked up to the microphone. Although I had performed many times as a kid,
I had never played and sang my own songs, all alone, on a big stage, in a 1500
seat night club. ....
.. ..
How did I do? Well…I
think it pretty much sucked! The guitar was terribly out of tune after the
first song, and I was so nervous I couldn’t get it back in tune. Since I
was shaking so bad, I’m sure I sounded very small and weak - not at all the
strong voice to which my fans are now accustomed.....
.. ..
BUT, I did it and I
survived! Later, the lead singer of that seven piece German band told the
audience that he was so impressed at how I got up there all by myself and that
he could never do that. I doubt what he said was really true - I think he
just didn’t have anything else nice to say about my performance - but the whole
experience really stuck with me. His words gave me the courage to do it again,
and it reinforced my desire to perform my songs regardless of my fright.....
.. ..
Since then, I've played
hundreds of shows, some equally bad and some unbelievably great. I’ve played with many different musicians,
gone through about five band member changes, released a handful of albums,
struggled to keep my chin up through many hard times, and sometimes I still
feel nervous.....
.. ..
But, I've gained a lot of
fans and friends who are always supportive and encouraging and I still have my
number one fan Ric, “throwing me to the wolves” every chance he can get. And I’m
still lovin' it. ....
.. ..
....
.. ..