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Current mood:  accomplished
This is a song that I wrote especially for Scottee’s new show that debuted at Duckie in February 2008 - a video of it can be seen on my profile. It was developed by first writing the story Buy A Better You, which is also in my blog, and then transforming it into a song.
Buy a Better You
Slouching on the sofa
Faded, sagging, sad
Home from the office
On the landing pad
Scoffing on Malteesers
To take away the pain
But honeycomb middles (that weigh so little)
Equal weight gain
Flicking the remote
Controlling the TV
Find the shopping channel
For the late night spree
Barbie styled presenters
In studio set gyms
Assistants demonstrating
Toothy, tanned and trim
Contraptions that sculpt, tone, and define
Strengthen your muscles, develop your lines
Effective results in just thirty days
Promises, products, and prices, displayed
Girdles so tight that suck it all in
Slip into dresses, you’re instantly slim
Can it get any easier? Can it be true?
Buy a better life, come on, buy a better you
Ordering is easy
Secure, simple, quick
Hit the red button
Enter in a pin
But then there’s a problem
A message soon explains
Incorrect details
Please try again
This might sound peculiar
But I have dyscalculia
Yes dys-cal-culia
Honest and true dear
It’s dyslexia with numbers if you don’t really know
I’m always muddling up my figure eights and zeros
What’s an eight anyways, just a zero with a waist
And what with all the haste, it’s easy to mistake
But being more aware and trying with more care
I’m very nearly there when a voice does declare
Stop what you’re doing, the product sold out
We’re taking no orders, you’re going without
There’s nothing to buy, it’s the end of the line
I’m sorry to say but you’re clean out of time
Tune in tomorrow, see the new stock
I’m sure we’ll have something that you haven’t got
Can it get any easier? Can it be true?
Buy a better life, come on, buy a better you
Can it get any easier? Can it be true?
Can you buy a better life? Can you buy a better you?
4:11 PM
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