I often like creating titles for works I more than likely will never write. These titles tend to sound like they are a bit more heady than my usual light hearted fare, as if I am writing some serious analysis of society or a journey into the very depths of the human psyche. Here are a couple titles that popped into my head the other day.


THE GUILT OF SODOMY

I am figuring this is either study into the depth of human sexuality, or a very dramatic tale of a man who pushes his sexual boundaries, thus challenging his marriage and his conservative religious background.



THE MODEST EXHIBITIONIST

This will be a fine play dissecting human behavior and at the very end the lead character will turn to the audience and say, "After all are we all nothing more than modest exhibitionists." CURTAIN! You will leave this unable to understand your own lives, but with a better understanding of those around you.

THE SEVEN HAIRCUTS OF TOBIAS CLENSMEN

Clearly a quirky indie film character study of a man in crisis. Watch out Mirimax you got another summer sleeper on your hands!!!

ACCURATE AWKWARDNESS

Yet another indie film were three woman of three separate ages are forced back into the world after being in long term relationships. One is a widow, one is newly divorced and the youngest one (think that Juno girl) just has gotten away from her overbearing conservative father. Gonna be a lot of great one liners in this baby!!!. Watch out Mirimax you got something going straight to dvd!!!!


GOOD DAY FOR DANGER

Vin Diesel plays a rogue cop who after being kicked off the force by a crooked police chief decides to... ah...you get it right? Watch out Revolution Studios you just filed for bankruptcy!!!!


THE CLEVER CLAIRVOYANT

A whimsical tale of a young girl who discovers she is clairvoyant and uses this power for all kinds of mischief. I figure this will star some really sassy cute newcomer who will be so God damned adorable someone in real life will abduct her and smother her with a pillow. America will be heartbroken, but not for long because there is always another new sassy adorable girl just around the corner!

THOMAS PEPPERGRASS IS CELIBATE EXCEPT FOR HIS ASS

This needs no explanation.