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Matt Dwyer



Last Updated: 11/18/2009

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Status: Single
City: Echo Park
State: CALIFORNIA
Country: US
Signup Date: 4/30/2004

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Monday, June 08, 2009 
The scientific theory, The Suicide Aura suggests that an aura or light around ones being changes when suicide is inevitable. It is subtle, dim and hard to gage by the naked eye, but it is there in a vague yellowish anemic hue. The individual the light surrounds are never aware their fate is headed down a suicidal path.  It's almost as if the air about them has chosen death before they have, like a virus that seeps into the pores from an outside realm. Though in reality it comes from the inside and works it’s self outward, hovers, and then penetrates the psyche thus causing a mental demise ending in suicide.
 
Often the method one chooses to end their life is random and has no logical connection to the individual’s life. For example: Take the case of Jacob L. Oppenhiemer, he was never a dower person, always smiling and upbeat to such a degree that most who knew him thought he was slightly autistic. However, one day unbeknownst to him the light surround his being, and for no apparent reason he took an interest in nooses. At the time suicide never crossed his mind. He was simply bored and randomly googled  "nooses". From that moment on he never stopped tying them. He’d tie them with shoelaces, string, bent up paperclips, and wet pasta until one day he tied a noose with nylon twine and hung himself from a beam that ran across his basement. Even as his legs kicked about whilst he choked and gagged he didn't think of it as suicide. It was something that just happened.
 
Another case was of Milton J. Fornteneski who on a hunting trip with his family turned to his brother and said, “Stuff and mount this”. He then put the shotgun into his mouth and pulled the trigger. Oddly, so did his brother, cousin and sister. Some scientists believe that Milton’s suicide aura shattered during the shotgun blast and showered around the others causing them follow Milton’s lead.
 
Many often ask how The Suicide Aura Theory relates in cases of mass suicides? This is easily explained, but often not believed. Common in mass suicides is a leader who initiates as the others to follow him into the hereafter. This leader’s Suicide Aura is so bright that it shins outward penetrating the surrounding people so powerfully that they mistake the leaders aura for their own thus causing them to unquestionably take their lives. It should be noted that prior to the 1978 Jonestown Massacre it was reported that an anemic yellow sky hung over Jonestown November 17th the day before to the mass suicide. Many scientists believe this to have been Reverend Jones’ very powerful Suicide Aura.
 
 
The suicide Aura is hard to detect by the untrained eye though it can be spotted by the person it is surrounding only in it’s twelfth hour, in front of a bathroom lead based mirror made prior to 1962. If one does catch sight of the aura there is very little one can do but pray. However, there are no documented cases of anyone ever surviving a Suicide Aura Sighting. 
Kyle Yarber
Kyle Yarber

 
The rumor is that the CIA has had a program in development for years attempting to project the Suicide Aura as a means of political assassignation.  Thus far, the only result has been to make Kim Jong Il watch hours of The Andy Griffith Show on Nick at Nite.
 
Posted by Kyle Yarber on Monday, June 08, 2009 - 6:29 PM
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Rommel Del Crypt

 
This blog has made me think about many things. First off , am i suicidal, second, am i autistic, and third, how can i train my eyes to have suicide radar?! Well regardless, it's interesting,  that not one set of hippie parents ever named their kid, Aura.So , what im trying to say, is look out David Carradine!  Here we come!
 
Posted by Rommel Del Crypt on Monday, June 08, 2009 - 6:51 PM
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Kayefex |Graphic Design|

 
How do you know?
 
Posted by Kayefex |Graphic Design| on Tuesday, June 09, 2009 - 10:06 AM
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C O P A

 
suicide auras are retarded
 
Posted by C O P A on Tuesday, June 09, 2009 - 6:08 PM
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Death To Anders

 
i like stabbing people. 

 
Posted by Death To Anders on Monday, June 29, 2009 - 6:37 PM
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Justin

 
heaven's gate
nike's
vodka-death-drinks

good times

 
Posted by Justin on Friday, July 24, 2009 - 5:40 PM
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