Knowing

I am from a place of diluted sunshine

Knowing that colored play-dough will be mine.

Walking around with my fingers full of dirt

Knowing that the yellow-green sponges will hurt.

Scrubbing the clay and boogers of my hands

Knowing that playing with legos makes me the man.

Seeing my friends run on the playground

Knowing that when I came home I will hear loud sounds.

Mom is yelling at Dad, he's drunk

Knowing deep inside my father is a punk.

There are things I did back in the day

Knowing some good some bad you could say.

I escaped outside on the hot asphalt

Knowing that I was never at fault.

My parents had fights about every night

Knowing that vodka and Peter had put up a fight.

The alcohol had a contagious infection

Knowing that it was his lethal injection.

The shit lasted until the divorce

Knowing that for most kids that is the worse.

I'm 18, many years have passed

Knowing that someone is buried under the grass.

He died in a park very sad and lonely

Knowing that he considered himself a phony.

I loved this man, truthfully I did

Knowing that he shot himself but not in the head.

This hurts inside, I'm serious it's true

Knowing Dad, I will always pray for you.

Every day you see me laughing and joking

Knowing that my inner feelings are choking.

I think it's better to talk, that's always the best

Knowing that Mr. Beebe is finally at rest.