Life is amazing sometimes how you get stuck in a rut, and then something changes and its all wonderful again.. but you always have this lingering voice in the back of your mind and nothing you do makes it go away.

I really need to find the trick to making it go away.

I need to realize, I have things going pretty good right now...

~ I have a nice place to live

~ I have a decent job

~ My animals are all in good health

~ My cars are all in good running condition.

~ My friends are awesome as always

~ And I have more guys wanting to be with me than I know what to do with

So why do I still get glum about things? Because I knew well i thought I knew what happiness once was and I guess I'm trying to get back there again. But that's a different kind of happiness that was just a facade.

I don't need anyone in my life to make me happy. That's my own responsibility. I'd just like people to share in the fun times I wanna have.

Going out hiking with Tanya and Ellie this morning made me realize, I don't hate the outdoors as much as I say I do, and even though I whined and bitched through the hike, it was still enjoyable.

I'm sick of just going and getting drunk every weekend. There's so much more stuff out there to do and I'm ready to experience more of it.

I need to get my finances in order and start saving in stead of spending every last dime, and more that I don't have.

The next time I move, it needs to be into my own house, no more condo's or apartments, no more renting. If I have to do it myself, I will.

I have no problem being a strong indepent female who takes care of her shit.