These are some special words on the topic of marraige from "Evil Jay" himself.  Read them with an open mind!

Love
Without love, there is no basis for the lifelong relationship. In time, the love you have for a person will maturate into a form of unconditional love. In the beginning, you experience only the "feeling of love". Typically, this "feeling" will last the first six months of dating before fading. This "high" is the chemical reaction (more appropriately, a  release of chemicals from your brain into your system) that puts you within the "la la land". On average, most relationships tend to die at two different points: At the six month mark of the in-love feeling or at the two year mark. After two years, most relationships die if they don’t lead to marriage. (It’s recommended by most experts that a couple date for two years prior to marriage)

Falling in love and meeting needs
Ruh-roh. Here comes the secret...to falling in love and staying in love. Some would say "Man, I fell in love at first sight! That’s all it took."

Rrrrrriiiiiiggggggghhhhhhhttttttt.

It’s all about needs. Everyone has em’.

If you can identify your partner’s top five needs and focus your energy on filling them to the best of your ability, all the time, unselfishly, then...

He or she will fall in love with you. If he or she returns the investment by focusing on fulfilling your top five needs to the best of their ability, all the time, etc...you will stay in love.

The ten emotional  needs are: (not in any order)
1. Conversation
2. Honesty and Openness
3. Affection
4. Recreational Companionship
5. Financial Support
6. Domestic Support
7. Physical Attraction
8. Sexual Fulfillment
9. Family Commitment
10. Admiration (which includes respect)

What are your top five? It’s important to note that needs change over time, so it is often reviewed annually by a couple. It’s equally important to note that needs play a part in the actual dating process as well.

You establish whether or not a person can meet your needs during the dating process, whether you realize it or not. For example, I currently have a need for physical attraction. If I’m not physically attracted or the attraction fades, then...the relationship will not last to the point of reaching marriage. For a married couple, this may require keeping in shape if your partner puts a high premium on physical attraction. You don’t go out and do whatever it takes to fulfill your partner’s needs to the point of recklessness, I’m speaking of a balanced approach. One must clearly communicate and enforce their boundaries. (i.e. "I’m not willing to do this, it’s outside of my personal boundaries to do so")

Before you say "You shouldn’t have to change for anybody" allow me to counter with the philosophy of "It’s not for you, not for me, but for us". It’s not about MAKING the other person change. It’s all about what YOUR willingness is to fulfill your partner’s needs. If no matching investment is present from your partner, a problem will arise. You may seek the fulfillment of your needs elsewhere...(which is the most common cause of extramarital affairs)

Many people will often get in trouble when they don’t listen to their own gut instincts and ignore needs that are important to them while focusing on another (ah, the sex was great...everything else sucks...).

Following? I’ve done it, you’ve done it, we’re all guilty of cheating ourselves. Evaluate what your TOP FIVE needs are and give them credence. I would not marry someone to be my trophy wife and be incapable of fulfilling my other top needs. You shouldn’t either. Don’t settle for 1 need met, and 4 others left unfulfilled. This will often lead to disaster. Communicate your needs.

Communication is important in every aspect of marriage. (Notice I don’t emphasize communication too much in this blog. Most couples who focus solely on communication simply become better at fighting with each other)

Work and Commitment
What happens after that? Without building a lasting, long term love the relationship is bereft of it’s primary engine. It takes work by both  parties, everyday, in order to maintain the momentum and keep the relationship going. I believe that marriage should be treated as a full time job, one that you invest into everyday. For you folks off in the other la-la land that think "if it requires work then it must not be meant to be" are more often than not...high. On crack.

"We have nothing in common..."
Boo-hoo. It’s not about what you have in common, (although that is nice), it’s about what you MAKE IN COMMON. It seems so convenient that most people place so much weight upon how much they have in common with another. (Placing too much emphasis on how much you ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO HAVE in common with your potential date is a big clue to me...that you’re selfish...)

Ask yourself, how many of the things that a couple originally had in common are still around years later? Interests change, people change. People subconciously make things in common or open up to liking something new all the time. I don’t place too much emphasis on what I have in common with someone I’m dating, I believe the focus should be on discovering shared interests. It takes some sacrifice to give up something of yours, such as a favorite hobby, in order to make time for a shared interest. 

Time 
Following on the note of "shared interests", it’s important to "date" your significant other AFTER you are married. Time has great value, and sharing it with someone is a gift that never goes unappreciated. I’m a firm believer in planning your week together and allotting time for each other. The general rule to follow is plan on spending 15-20 hours per week of quality time. The weekly date counts toward this time, spending time with the kids while together (usually)does not. The time is intended for use as fulfilling each other’s mentioned needs.

Policy of Joint Agreement
What to do, what to do...
So, how do you decide what to do together? How does the decisionmaking process work? I would recommend the approach of jointly agreeing on all major decisions. The rule is: "Never do anything without the enthusiastic approval of both". This usually applies to major decisions, but can also be used when a deadlock is reached on something recreational.

Just thought I would share some of Jay’s thoughts that I found brilliant!  Wish more people opened their eyes to these issues.