It's 1:30 in the morning and I can't sleep, so as usal I am lying here thinking about life, and like most women I tend to over analyze and worry about things that really do not require any more thought than has already been given. Right....so as I lay here going over the same issue for the hundreth time, I figure I could just put this into words and maybe get some sleep. Ok, 1st issue. I am way WAY to worried about whether people like me or not. I know, I know, I'm supposed to be an individual and not give a flip and all that jazz, but there are certain people I really don't want to get on the bad side of and I'm conststly second guessing myself and my decisions, worrying that what I did or said will impact their opinion of me. Eeeek! I rather like myself, except for the occasional day where I would really rather not exist, and since I can't poof in and out, I'd settle for staying in bed, but I survive those days. Second issue, money. I think EVERYONE is having that problem lately. I am desperatly hoping not to end up in the hole for the week, but I think I'm being slighly optimistic there.. On a more positive money note, I did get a raise at work and Imm happy with it, but greedy me would like lots of overtime to go with it. Time and a half makes me purr. Of course during those long 10 hours it's more like hiss and spit...Here's another good thing in my life at the moment. I got approved for up to 4500 for a "new" car. So I get to go car shopping. And of course the love life is sailing right along on cloud nine. I'm not sure how he puts up with me to be honest, but he does. You know, this year im Dec will make 5 years that I have lived here. It's amazing how some of the biggest mistakes of your life turn into the best situations. It only shows me that God has watched over me every step and will guide me through anything. I don't talk much about my faith to others, and I suppose to some that would make me a bad believer, but I guess growing up having it shoved down my throat has made me the quiet one when it comes to talking about it. Besides I have a rather odd way of thinking when it comes to spiritual matters and people like to argue, and I don't. One of my ex's called me tonight. He and his girlfriend are expecting a baby and he was looking for some advice on the emotional end from her point of view. You know, guys gets so confused about us in the first place that I'm sure pregnancy makes it worse. It's sweet though what husbands/boyfriends do for their women when they are in love. I am looking forward to having children someday. It's been a long time since I've been responsible for a baby. "mine" (levi) is 14 now, but I still remember his little face when I would take him out to the big swing and rock and sing to him. He loved that. He is still such a sweet boy and so good. I love him more than I could ever express. Well maybe I've blabbed enough to put myself to sleep. Probably not, but I guess I'll go count sheep, or cows or something...