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Vesper



Last Updated: 7/15/2009

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Status: Single
City: WEST ORANGE
State: NEW JERSEY
Country: US

Who Gives Kudos:

Granny Pant.. (2)
Kieran (2)
Monday, June 05, 2006 

Current mood:  tired
:whoa:
My mother-in-law said tonight, in effect, that I should write songs for Radio Disney. :whoa:

Pop songs for 6-11 year olds. OMG.

On this day 13 years ago I met the crucified Jesus in a vision. Today feels like my first day of kindegarten.

This made me weep last night, for all I don't know. God is someone who I seem to refuse to believe on his own terms. Or as I told my father-in-law today, "a chaotic force that needs me to tame him so i don't die". But that's not what Psalm 25 says. Thank GOD.

1To You, O LORD, I lift up my soul.
2O my God, in You I trust,
Do not let me be ashamed;
Do not let my enemies exult over me.
3Indeed, none of those who wait for You will be ashamed;
Those who deal treacherously without cause will be ashamed.
4Make me know Your ways, O LORD;
Teach me Your paths.
5Lead me in Your truth and teach me,
For You are the God of my salvation;
For You I wait all the day.
6Remember, O LORD, Your compassion and Your lovingkindnesses,
For they have been from of old.
7Do not remember the sins of my youth or my transgressions;
According to Your lovingkindness remember me,
For Your goodness' sake, O LORD.
8Good and upright is the LORD;
Therefore He instructs sinners in the way.
9He leads the humble in justice,
And He teaches the humble His way.
10All the paths of the LORD are lovingkindness and truth
To those who keep His covenant and His testimonies.
11For Your name's sake, O LORD,
Pardon my iniquity, for it is great.
12Who is the man who fears the LORD?
He will instruct him in the way he should choose.
13His soul will abide in prosperity,
And his descendants will inherit the land.
14The secret of the LORD is for those who fear Him,
And He will make them know His covenant.
15My eyes are continually toward the LORD,
For He will pluck my feet out of the net.
16Turn to me and be gracious to me,
For I am lonely and afflicted.
17The troubles of my heart are enlarged;
Bring me out of my distresses.
18Look upon my affliction and my trouble,
And forgive all my sins.
19Look upon my enemies, for they are many,
And they hate me with violent hatred.
20Guard my soul and deliver me;
Do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You.
21Let integrity and uprightness preserve me,
For I wait for You.
22Redeem Israel, O God,
Out of all his troubles.
4:36 AM
 
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Granny Panties
Cathleen Riccobono

 
"God is someone who i seem to refuse to believe on his own terms"

I feel that same way often...when I actually slow down enough to think about it anyways. your faith seems much stronger then mine...im scared to remove the unholy things from my life because its been my whole life for as far back as I can remember....its what I know. its what I feel and its what I trust as real more often then not....this is sad to me. I want Gods help when I need it so desperately and when life is tollerable he is an after thought....its like Im willing to do whats comfortable for ME when i need it otherwise its just not the first thing on my mind. its something I need to change for sure (though you may not have meant what I got from your post)....ok I went on and on again...dont know why this seems to be a pattern developing for me on your blogs *lol*

 
Posted by Granny Panties on Tuesday, June 06, 2006 - 5:08 AM
[Reply to this] 
Vesper

 
Cati, I'm glad to see my posts are not just vaporizing into the ether. :)
Who was it that said "The unexamined life is not worth living"? Google said Socrates, so I'll take that. Where's Bartlett's Quotations when you need it?

I think we all need to keep in the forefront of our minds two things we probably believed deeply when we came to faith: 1. That this is not our home, and not to get too comfortable; and 2. That we will stand before God and give an account of our lives. I shudder to think. Even those of us that are made new in Christ. We won't be condemned, but we will have to answer for every minute.

I think being away from home these (almost) 2 weeks has put stuff into perspective for me, or at least started to. I was looking for a good book to read while down here in Fl, and found good ol' Emma by Jane Austen. At first glance, kind of a fluffy book, but what insights into human character. I think it interesting how intentionally some of her characters live. OK, almost all of her characters. Whether for virtue or vice, and definitely most misguided, but there is such a sense of "life planning" that has hit me. It's so easy to let my circumstances dictate how I feel about things, and then to let those feelings whisk me away like my life were no more grounded than a kite. Oswald Chambers' entry for yesterday (June 5) was really apropos. It's packed away (leaving for home today! yay!), but it speaks a lot about living by God's say-so, not my own.

What you say about it being lifelong for you--of course that's true. The more we think we change, the more we see that it all comes around to the same old crap it always was. We carry around the "old man" until we put him off forever. Thank God, though, that who we _are_ is the "new man".

OK, so I went on and on, too...thanks for being so thoughtful to comment, Cati...
 
Posted by Vesper on Tuesday, June 06, 2006 - 5:41 PM
[Reply to this] 
Kieran

 

Vesper writing songs for Disney? Reminds me of our talk concerning "Christian songs" versus "Non-Christian songs", though in my opinion every song you and I write is a "Christian song" because you and I are Christian... and since when was the word Christian an adjective?

It never feels good to be told "You should write ______ songs"

Doesn't it suck being misunderstood?

And I like that psalm, I'm going to reread it now.


 
Posted by Kieran on Wednesday, June 07, 2006 - 8:55 PM
[Reply to this]