Yes, I'm saying it, I cant stand my mother!!! I shouldve opened my mouth when she decided 2 say stupid shit last night, but of course she was drunk, or whatever so what would have been them point in arguing, but as I think of it now it makes me so mad that I didn't. Of course asking my mother 4 any kind of help is like gluing wings 2 my back and jumping off the tallest building attempting 2 fly.....EPIC FAIL!
I asked 2 borrow money cause of course those of u who kno me, kno tht I am extrememly poor and right at this point cant afford diapers. No social services will not help me, 4 reasons I do not wish 2 disclose, however 1 of them being I make 2 much money...hahahaha!!! So I gave up on the system FUCK THEM!!! I do it on my own and although Im having a rough time, as we all do...well it jus makes me a stronger and better person..Makes me realize how much I love America(sarcastic)...anywaysso I ask her if I cam borrow 100 dollars, she says she will call me back. Never does until I talk 2 my bro on xbox live...apparently my other bro who she of course rarely takes responsibility of, is sick and no one will I guess help him, IDK. So she calls and she is of course drunk and tells me tht my stepfather said he wasnt going 2 the bank at the time I asked. Ok no prob there is a chance then cool..
But then my mom goes in2 telling me how I cant ask her I gotta ask him cause she doesn't work, she gets what she wants and she is all good. That my stepfather has always been good 2 me. And has givin us alot of Christmases. I didn't even call him on Fathers Day...(ok my bad), I felt bad I didn't but I also had oral surgery and was uncomfortable... And she is going on about how she is happy now..and whatever..I said ma thas great I'm glad ure happy yeah me 2 I deserve it....
Ok here is the problem, of course she is drunk and all she does is ramble...but the problem is this....
1. Ok glad that my stepfather has straightened himself out, but when he was fucked up, and u were scared..who lived with u holding a knife under there pillow at night just in case...
2. Who bought my brothers Christmas 3-4 years in a row?? I have still never received a thank u, btw!
and tht is all I want a sincere thank u.
3. Who helped u when ure house was taken away and u had no where 2 go.
4. Who gave u food countless of times 2 feed my brothers
5. Who gave u money countless of times, knowing tht instead of getting food first you would get cigarettes beer and weed first(stupid me of course shoulda known thas no1s fault but mine)
6. Who took my brother in, and while I'm struggling a single mother 2 make it on my own 4 my son and I u did not once help me with money or anything.
7. Who let u live with them rent free, only 2 b threaten 2 b stabbed while I was pregnant...and had 2 have my neighbor come up and like babysit. mayb u wouldn't have done it but hey when ure drunk anything is possible.
8. after tht u moved out but who gave u the money so u could do so, oh and btw tht money was 4 my engaement ring...i had no idea until afterwards, and I think even if I did I woulda said no my mom needs it more..
I can go on, now some may say stop holding on 2 the past ok sure u all may b right, but hey this is my mother and she still fucks me over, she doesn't care.
The children tht she has pretty much screwed over 4 years and abandoned she should b kissing their asses. I can say this at least she has decided to take care of 1 of bros, and 4 tht he is greatful, my 1 bro she helps out 2 alot...so he is greatful 2 4 the others we never had a mother...
I can say tht there is something REALLY good tht has come out of this.....I am thankful tht through ALL of her FAILURES and mistakes, I have learned 2 b a good person...I don't do drugs, I don't barely drink, I take care of my kids, I love them with all my heart and soul and would never ever ever do 2 them what she did 2 me, and still does...
So unless its 2 c her grandchildren, which she really doesn't bother with all tht much either, or is my bro wants 2 come here, because no mater what my bros and my little sis r my heart...then I dont want nothing 2 do with her, I washed my hands, I am done...its ridiculous tht at almost 30 years old I am still trying 2 get her 2 love me like a mother should...and I just not doing it anymore!!!
I just really needed 2 get this out, so sry 4 any anomosity this may cause any1, or if it offends any1...but I feel better now....