Let me try to put this on for a minute here. Let me try being the "hopeless romantic." I'm being romantic toward you, but I'm not hoping you'll like it or want to return the gesture. I'm being romantic toward you, but I'm not hoping it leads to more romance between us.
No no no. This isn't right. I DO HOPE! I hope that if I'm romantic with you, you want it, and enjoy it. I hope if I'm romantic toward you, it makes you want to be romantic with me too. If I slip into dream world about our future, I hope you'll willingly join me. Even if it means we talk about things we'll only ever talk about (not likely with me though, I usually only talk about things I intend to do, unless I'm intoxicated. Then I might be a bit more lofty in my conversations.)
Anyway, back to the point. Why be a hopeless romantic? I'm so hopeful in my romance. Is that my problem? Is the answer being hopeless? If there's no hope, there's no expectation, there's no let down? Well then how come I always see sad, single hopeless romantics? Oh, oh ... they aren't sad about being single! They're sad about the economy! Of course.
What about being the helpless romantic? I can get that one. Not being able to help yourself when it comes to romance … I've met people like that. I've met people who can't help but be romantic no matter who they are with, whether they just met them or have been madly in love with the person for years. I'm not like that myself, it takes me a little bit to build romantic feelings toward someone. It takes me a little bit to trust that if I'm romantic with someone, they won't just reject it. That's because, one time I wrote a poem to someone I loved and I thought it was rather good. I thought for sure they'd love it, and then they told me not to write them stuff like that anymore. So I don't do stuff like that anymore … romantic gestures that are, or could be, hopeless. If I'm sure you won't like it, I won't do it. If there's doubt, I'll consider my odds and go with the best bet. If I know you'll like it … good chance I'm going for it.
As for those who proudly call themselves hopeless romantics, I don't get it. Why don't you have hope? Where is your hope? Did someone take it away? Did you never have it? Do you have it with some people but not with others? And if so, then why bother with the ones you don't have hope for?
If you've made it this far, you deserve to know the rest …
The reason for this is … I've been having these, um, feelings lately. I can't control them. I don't want them. They're terribly inconvenient, but I can't get rid of them. I've been feeling, terribly … romantic. OH GOD! WASH IT OFF! It's just, it's bad timing. I don't have time or energy to be romantic. It seems to be all I want though. But the thing is … I don't want it if it's hopeless. I don't want to be hopeless about it, nor do I want anyone who will be hopeless about their romance with me. I want someone to look at me with nothing but hope for love and romance and a future … because when I find someone I can comfortably be romantic with, that's how I'll look at them.
I'm trying to reconcile this desire for a romantic partner with the idea of hopeless romance … because, everyone thinks hopeless romantics are so … romantic. Which brings me back to square one. Why? Why is it called hopeless romance? What is hopeless about it? Should it be hopeless? Isn't hopeless romance when some poor sap is doing romantic things for an unrequited love that won't reciprocate?
Can't I be a hopeful romantic? Wouldn't everyone prefer that? I mean, think about it—if you're doing romantic stuff for someone, aren't you hoping it's going to make them happy, if not make them totally swoon? And if someone does something romantic for you, wouldn't you prefer there was some intent behind it? Like the intent to make you happy or draw you two closer together? Why would you want someone who has no hope for you doing something romantic for you? The only reason I could imagine someone would want romantic gestures from someone totally hopeless is because they're a jerk. Why else would someone want romantic gestures from someone who has no reason to believe they'll be reciprocated?
Hopeful, my friends. It is my word for 2009. And hopeful romance is the phrase. It is the only kind of romance I'll want or accept in the New Year. I'm full of hope that everything I do in romance and life in general will be filled with, well, hope. Hope and intent. I'm full of hope for meaning and good intent in the lives of all those I know and love in 2009, because I think 2008 left a lot of unfinished business for many of us. So when you do that thing you do when the clock strikes 12 and leaves 2008 but a memory, be hopeful, be optimistic, have good faith and intent for what ever is ahead because the last thing any of us need right now, is to be hopeless.