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Category: Blogging
I just need to write something. I don't have writer's block in the strictest sense. I have ideas, I'm just getting in the way of myself. I thought coming here and putting some simple ideas down, letting out a flow of stream of consciousness if you will, hopefully will open up the flood gates. It happens that way sometimes.
I think ... I think ... I think ... I think too many people live in fear.
I think religion is one of man's most twisted and surprisingly successful inventions. I believe religion is the opiate of the masses, I believe it serves as a crutch for many and too many people blame God or gods or Jesus or whoever for everything bad or good in their life so they don't have to take responsibility for their own actions.
But ... I think ... I think ... many people need that. I think that as much as I believe religion breeds prejudice, hate, intolerance, ignorance and has been the cause of many wars and hate crimes among other terrible things ... I think ... I think the world would actually be a darker and scarier place without it. There would be chaos and anarchy. The only answer in my mind is one religion, that everyone every where in the world would believe in, and that will never happen. And if it did ... well then, maybe the Bible was right after all ...
I think "The Secret" is religion without God or the Bible. But I have yet to read the book or watch the film ... so I think maybe that's not fair of me to say. I think for someone who hasn't read the book or watched the film, I feel I know a significant amount about it because I was surrounded by people who swore by it for a while, and I think it's all propaganda bull shit.
Having said that ... I think there's something to it, I just hate the way they packaged it and called it a secret to generate sales. What the fuck is so secret about having good intentions? What the fuck is so secret about ... THINKING?! I mean, that's what they were telling everyone to do, right? Think about shit in order to achieve it ... visualize? That's thinking! They made shit tons of money telling people to think and imagine things!! I could have told you that shit!
Doesn't everyone already do that? The high school kid filling out her college applications, doesn't she imagine herself at that school? Doesn't she dream about or "visualize" getting her acceptance letter, moving into the dorms, getting drunk and making bad decisions?! Of course she does! She even went to visit the campus so that the vision in her head when she fantasizes about it will be clearer!
Don't young boys playing football dream of the NFL? Or the kid playing with his chemistry set dream of finding the cure for something serious and disgusting? Don't girls dream of the perfect mate and what their wedding day will look like? Or becoming a Hollywood star, or owning a business or being the next Gordon Ramsey or Danica Speedracer or the President or Suri Cruise? We all have dreams and visions and aspirations! What is the newlywed couple doing if not dreaming about the dream home ... ? or visualizing, and what's more ... the thing that will actually get them the dream home ... working and saving! And all of that is supposed to be some sort of "secret" I should pay someone to tell me about?? Sheesh.
I think ... I think ... people who believe fervently in religion or The Secret have good intentions. I think people who buy into those things generally do need to be reminded of the concepts that are the driving force behind those businesses (yes businesses). And I think the rest of us could use a reminder every now and then as well. I think life gets crazy sometimes and people would kill each other more frequently without commandments or laws. I think I would have murdered 20 people by now if law and morals hadn't stopped me. So I'm grateful I'm not a murderous psycho and neither are you.
I think I hate the people who made enormous piles of money on The Secret because I've lived my life with good intentions and dreams and visualizing success and it really hasn't gotten me anywhere ... and I'm mad that I didn't think of packaging the ideas of thinking and dreaming and selling it to people. I'm jealous that I haven't made piles of money telling people to do something they inherently already do. I'm grateful to the people behind The Secret for making positive thinking mainstream, because I'm tired of negative motherfuckers ... including, right now, myself.
I think calling Harold and Maude a movie about an older women and a younger man is technically right, but totally wrong. That's not what it's about, that's just a vague description of the two main characters.
I think ... I think Return to Oz should have been called something else and set somewhere else. It's a disgrace to my most beloved movie, the Wizard of Oz and it's entire franchise. But, I love it in all it's godawfulness, and I'm not sure why. I think because it is a part of the Wizard of Oz franchise. Sometimes I think it's because it's one of those "so bad it's good" movies.
I think too many people focus on endings when the best stories are told in journeys. I think people who cut to the chase are missing the point.
I think maybe I was wrong all that time I called myself a commitmentphobe. I think it would be more accurate to say I just knew I wasn't ready to settle down. There's a difference between fearing it and wanting it ... just later.
I think ... I think a kitten saved my life. It was the best thing I did when I came back from Iraq. I was so lost and feeling alone and crazy and then I had this thing, this little adorable, fuzzy baby that needed me and loved me and followed me around and somehow that woke me up.
I think teenage girls looking for love and getting pregnant so they can have someone who will always love and need them, should get kittens instead. Or even puppies. So, if you have a teenager who asks for a pet, you should just get it for them or they might just come home with a baby instead. And then what the fuck are you gonna do?
I think it's nice that the Hensel Twins' parents don't want to treat them any differently than their other kids or pimp them out like they could be doing. But, I think the problem with that is, that the Hensel Twins' are different. I think it's stupid that the parents are refusing medical tests the doctors suggest just because they don't want to treat the girls different. Because again, they ARE different. And I think it's selfish of them to refuse testing and research that could be helpful to them AND others because they think it will get them unwanted attention or play into some "freakshow" idea they're afraid of. I think ... too many people live in fear.
I think ... speaking of freakshows ... that it's sad that Treeman, Dede's community shunned him instead of helping him. I think he has one of the most heartbreaking and incredible stories I've ever heard.
I think people find my interest in these people and other similar things strange. I think I've best summed up my feelings on it when I said this to someone about it:
"I'm interested in things that are ... unique. Sometimes they seem odd to people. Like the Hensel Twins and Treeman, but i'm genuinely interested in these people's stories and how they turn out in life. It's just, human interest. I just happen to be more interested in the offbeat humans, rather than the totally normal kid who happens to be missing, I'd rather read about Treeman or the Hensel Twins.
I feel for these people, they're people like you and I, but with these terrible afflictions and it's not fair the way they are treated. Treeman seemed like such a sweet and gentle man in the documentary I watched on him. He just wants to be normal and be able to work and provide for his kids.
I think another reason why I look at these things is because I've seen some strange things in person, in passing ... and I don't want to be one of those people who's shocked and gawks.
The more you look at things that are different, the less weird they seem. I live in a world of oddities so I don't have to live in a world of oddities. I just want everything to be normal."
I think I'm not living up to my potential. But I think I'm trying to fix that.
I think I've been equally afraid of both success and failure for far too long and I think 2009 is the year to officially get the fuck over it and realize I deserve success and happiness ... and, that I can handle it.
I think I'm afraid to sell my book because I'm afraid of what family and friends will think of it. I think I'm afraid of not selling my book because I'm not sure there is anything else I can do with my life (and be happy). I think they're not paying my bills or living my life, so they're just going to have to deal with it ... because I think ...
no ...
I know ... I know I can't be one of those people who lives their life in fear.
There! I did it! Off to finish the the book! Hey ... thanks for doing this with me ...
10:51 PM
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