still hasn't settled in.
it still feels  like  shes just out of town or something.
my  brain  knows exactly whats happening, but  my  emotions  cant accept  it.

i'm not a writer of poetry, or prose.. all i  can do is state  my  thoughts  in blurbs.

she was only 49,  if you'd have seen her 3 weeks ago you wouldnt even expect there was  remotely a problem, she was active, fun.
2 weeks in the  hospital
2 weeks of tests, and waiting
2 weeks of wondering why these guy aren't working faster.
thanksgiving i took her a sweet potato pie.. she couldn't eat her slice, but she loved it nonetheless
that was the  day we were supposed to put up out Christmas decorations.
i told her the family would wait til she gets home...
she's not home, she was supposed to be here Friday, after they   cured her of the Lymphoma.
that what it took 2 weeks to find... 2 weeks,  if only  they hand found it the first week.
but no.. 2 weeks of tests and waiting.
15th day, i get the call.
worst call i had ever received.
14th day, they said it was an easy fix.
i never imagined  how hard it would be to go get your brother out of school to tell him that our mother is gone.

my only saving grace is that the night  before, i cried in her arms and told her that i love  her, and  i got to hear her tell me she loves me one final time.


thankyou to all of who who  contacted me.. i know that  there are  no words you can say to me to make it better, and  i know how it is to be in the position of "i dont know what to say".
 but knowing you are all there for me, is just enough.