Well here's an update for you all about little Corbin. We went back to the specialist last wednesday to have another ultrasound. It took me over a week to convince the office to even let me come back because of the original diagnosis. It seems as if the doctors don't want to do anything else with you or your child when you have a poor prognosis that is labeled "incompatible with life" or "failure to thrive". All I wanted to do was take a closer look at all of Corbin's issues so that Curtis and I could plan a little better in regards to the birth and his care afterward. Luckily, I was able to get the technicial to tell me quite a bit because the "Doctor" didn't want to talk to me about shit, but I'll get into that later. We looked at the omphalocele and it seems to be pretty small. That's not really good or bad either way, but at least we can lean towards a natural birth instead of a C-section. We knew he had a cleft lip, but up until now we thought it was unilateral (one sided). Turns out, he has a bilateral cleft (both sides) as well as a cleft palate, so he most likely will not be able to feed on his own. The holoprosencephaly (brain) is pretty severe. It's called "alobar", meaning the forebrain really divide at all. I'm not sure exactly what that means about his survivability. Anyway, in the other blog, I mentioned his fingers were not positioned correctly. Turns out, he actually has 6 fingers on each hand. I think it's cute, but Curtis has yet to get used to the idea, which is perfectly OK. Anyway, back to the "Doctor". We finished with the ultrasound and go in for the consult. The doc was being a real bitch. She looked at me with a cold hearted eyes and said "why are you even here?" and curtis and I both took her tone to say "why are you still pregnant?". Gotta keep in mind that this woman urged us to terminate during the first ultrasound and original diagnosis. She did not want to talk to us about anything last week. Another comment she made was "why don't you just go for comfort care, keep him dry and hold him until he goes?". I couldn't frickin believe her attitude. She was giving us this "you need to give up and lose hope" attitude. I didn't say this to her but I wanted to "Oh I don't know why dont you let someone keep you dry and hold you til you're gone?" lol. She also said "why are you trying to prolong the inevitable?". OMG I wanted to strangle her. Wanted to ask why she tries to prolong the inevitable. I'm sure she takes steps to stay healthy and live longer. What's the point in that when she's going to die also? What's the frickin difference? Anyway, last thing that was said was after the doc left. The nurse was on her way out and stopped, turned around, and asked me (with the ugliest tone of voice you can imagine and complete disrespect for our decision to continue giving life to the child God gave us) "Have you even LOOKED at the survival rate of a holoprosencephaly child?" URGH!!! I calmly replied "yes ma'am I have, thank you." Anyway, needless to say I guess that it was an awful experience and I just wonder how many people they've talked to like that. Curtis and I think she's just mad because she didn't get her bonus check from the abortion clinic off of a referral, lol. Well, I guess that's enough for now. I'll leave you with this note: Corbin seems to be doing very well and is as active as ever. As a matter of fact, sometimes too active. He seems to have a very steady heartbeat, usually around 145 every time we get it checked. He's a very strong little guy and I think he's go to be at least 3 inches longer than what he's supposed to be because with still having 10 weeks to go, he gets in places that he should even be able to reach yet. I'm in for it huh. Thanks for reading this and hanging in there for the long haul if you've made it this far. Love ya all.

Robin