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Amanda Swanson

Amanda James


Last Updated: 11/19/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Married
Age: 20
Sign: Pisces

City: Cool
State: California
Country: US
Signup Date: 4/5/2007

Who Gives Kudos:


Sunday, November 25, 2007 

Current mood:  depressed
Category: Writing and Poetry

Its been a week since my dad passed away. But yet I still havent cried or hit anything, whats wrong with me? I'm sad and depressed but I wont cry, its like my body is telling me not to, like if I did cry then i'd be sentenced to internal damnation. I keep asking myself why? Why is God doing this to me? Everyones telling me that God is wonderful, that hes forgiving and understanding. And that hes a healer, then why didnt he heal my dad? Why did he leave my dad to die? Everyone would probably tell me that its not God doing that, that its Satan. But the way I see it is Satan gave him the cancer, God had the choice to heal him, but he didnt. Im so pissed off at God because he killed my father. I always thought that my dad would be alive long enough to walk me down the isle when I got married, Apparently not!!! So now im here without my father. My father was always there for me. I was a daddy's girl. Me and my dad may have had our problems but that will not change the facts, that will not change my opinion about him. I love you dad, And I will never forget you. You will always be apart of me, You will always have a place in my heart. Watch over me, let me know when im doing something you dont agree with. I LOVE YOU DAD!!!

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cristina
cristina Parent

 
You dont have to cry to miss him. Some people cry and some dont I know this. He was your father and you'll miss him for ever but just because someone died doesnt meen you have to cry. I think your strong and thats why you havent cried. you will when its your time. Peolpe die ist apart of life you need to move on. He lives on in you and your brother. keeping him in your heart is what he needs. I love you and I know he does as well. Im here if you need me.

I love you amanda
love always your
cristina
 
Posted by cristina on Sunday, December 02, 2007 - 10:29 PM
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