FAG COP is seeking the assistance of an asshole with a van. Your duties would be to own a van, drive it, with us in it, on tour. You will be asked to remain sober while driving. We will do some of the sober-driving.

Additional duties may include:
Helping to carry heavy shit
Clearing crowds of people off of paths where we will carry heavy shit
Navigation
Holding flashlights
Dealing with annoying/scary people
Being a "chill dude"
Telling us how cool the show was

Preferred qualifications: Owns real cool van or RV, is wealthy, likes FAG COP, can play guitar, is funny, has "connections," tour-mastery.

Compensation: 1/4 of the food we find in dumpsters, beer-as-it-comes, places to sleep for about one month, fame of association, exclusive book/tv/movie rights, bar and party skanks, records. If we have money left after tour, you might get some.

Dates are 6/26 to 7/27

EOE

Or if you just have a van we can borrow, can we borrow it?