How are my video blogs not a hit?! I thought it'd be a nice change of pace for all of you. I mean, I don't know who else you subscribe to, but are they offering video blogs non stop? I didn't think so. Now, before you go tell all your friends to subscribe to my blogs and watch my videos and tell their friends so the chain reaction results in me making a ton of money, here are some things I've been thinking about:

Mark Ruffalo - What is his age range? 24-58? This guy grows a beard and he's my dad, he shaves it and we're two college seniors in our 7th year skipping class to post flyers for our keg party. Seriously, what's the deal with this guy?

Reese Witherspoon and Jay Leno - If they had a kid it would be a chin with appendages (arms and legs).

Kirsten Dunst and Geoff Keith - If we had a kid it would look like the biggest pot head ever...boy or girl it's name would be Jim Breuer.

Ice Cream - How come they can't make a kind that tastes close to the original but has zero calories? They did it with Coca Cola. Let's go ice cream people, add some aspartame and caffeine. Sure the aspartame will eventually give me cancer, but at least I won't be fat when I get it.

Popcorn - Is this bad for you? I enjoy popcorn. I'm gonna need an answer ASAP. I know it's bad to eat popcorn and then rub your face with the butter, but that's just bad for your skin. How come people only go for popcorn at the movies, fairs, sporting events and Target?

Kids - What happen if you hate your kids? Do you just lie to them and tell them you love them because that's what your parents did for you? (Who wants mine?)

MySpace - If Tom didn't come up with it, would someone else have? Would he have come up with something else that made him super rich? Do we all have one good idea and if it doesn't catch we missed our chance?

Bill Maher - Have you ever seen another person with a face remotely like his? I haven't. Every woman that works on the cleaning crews at airports all over the country look like sisters, how come there's not one other person who looks like Bill Maher? What's his nationality, lemming?

Dreyer's Ice Cream - Who made the decision to go from the 1.75 Quart size to the 1.5 Quart size? Did they think I wasn't gonna notice?? It's like a circumsized carton of ice cream. And for the same price?! Wow, Dreyer's. Whoever made that decision has a kick in the balls waiting from GK! (Did I just think about ice cream twice in this blog?)

Women - I think they should have to be guys for a month so they finally would "get it."

Men - Should have to sit on something long and hard on accident at least once so they could understand why there are more feelings when you're the one being penetrated.

Marriage - Do you think there's one couple out there where the husband has a really small penis and the wife has a huge vagina? If there is, that's true love.

Trees and Sex - In the movie I'm watching a guy just had sex with a girl against a tree in the woods. Talk about looking fun but probably not fun at all. Who would want their back against a big tree full of bark? (probably someone willing to get penetrated)

Virginity - I lost mine on the beach in Carlsbad, CA. It ended when my penis went limp because I was so nervous. At the time I thought I was still doing a good job playing it cool to this girl like I'd done it before. I'm pretty sure she knew. By the way, how did my adolescent penis fail me on the biggest moment we'd shared together up to that point? My cock had been getting hard since 5th grade for no reason and the first time he got to stare down the barrel at some real shit he gives up because of nerves?! Let's just say my penis would not be in the game in the 4th quarter. No way.

LCD or Plasma? - I've heard stories supporting both. I'ma go with Plasma because that's what I have. Suck it LCD people, the war is on and as long as we're not in a bright lit room I think we have the upper hand (from what I've read). Sure it still has the ABC7 logo on the bottom right corner of my screen because I watched the news last Thursday, but I like my Vizio.

Video Blog or Written Blog - Up to you now isn't it?