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Matt [blahblahblah]



Last Updated: 6/26/2008

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 27
Sign: Taurus

City: Grey Lynn, Auckland
State: Auckland
Country: NZ
Signup Date: 4/9/2007
Tuesday, September 02, 2008 

Category: Travel and Places
Hey - I'm on tour, bitches!!!!

I've got a professional reputation to maintain in music and business circles so it's not like I can go running my mouth like a chainsaw whenever I like.

Except here, of course, I can say what I like, so I take great pleasure in doing just that. It's a good way to get it all out.

So I'm on tour!

I dragged my ass to my meeting with Red Bull Friday morning worse for wear having already kicked off the hometown tour opener at Coherent the night before, then I get the call that the Palmy gig that night has been canned because past it US R&B act K-ci + JoJo have finally turned up on 24 hours notice to do a show they were booked to do earlier in the year at the same venue.

As I mentioned, I'd already clocked the situation and had double booked myself. Have to be up pretty early to run one on old Matt.

So this club I'm playing in Palmy is tiny. The Aussie DJ I'm touring with jumps up at 10am and starts rinsing ghastly 90's Techno - sending everyone running for the door, including the guys in the bands, who all piss off back to the hotel. The bar maid is cute, but I end up hitting on this chick who says she's just got out of prison or some shit . . .

I jump on the decks and manage to bring some of the ladies back in the place with sexy liquid drum'n bass vibes just to have the australian fucking techno viking jump on and scare them all away again, with no clue that he's not playing some 90's fetish superclub in Melbourne, he's playing a fucking shoebox in Palmerston North. Hot bar maid tells me my set was "so good" so I get her number and sink some piss with the manager.

By this point word is already getting round town that K-ci & Jojo refused to perform and smacked over the bar manager from the other venue who I'd been on the phone with earlier.

Aussie DJ complains about how rough the crowd is, citing the fact that the toilet has been completely taken apart. He later tells me he dropped his ring down there.

"I had to get my ring back, man!"

I get back to the hotel to find the band guys have taken all the beds, meanwhile Aussie DJ wont fuckin shut up. Apparently I've got a reputation in melbourne for being a killer DJ/Producer but I'm a "loose unit".

Oh you mean I talk smack about people on the net??? HAHAHA

Just when I think it can't get any better . . .

I'll just cut to the chase. After telling me he was into the gay scene (I thought he meant making money promotion gay dance parties, I was wrong) He started laying a full mack down on me.

"You're so lovely, Matt. I can't believe anyone would say you're dodgy. I think you're a real lovely guy."

It made my stomach turn. The main reason being . . . the sickening soft little voice he used on me.

In years past I used to use that same sickening little voice to make my move on chicks at the end of the night to tell them " . . . you're so beautiful . . ."

"I think you're a really special girl . . ."

EWWWWWWW

no wonder I never used to get laid.



Part 2 - wanganui - coming soon!!!!
10:09 AM
 
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