I have another "Your ass is crazy." story. It's kind of long, but it's funny. Just cause it's so "Ummmmm.... What?".

 

So I met this guy online about 6 weeks ago. We've shared few chats, either on yahoo/aim or through text. Never any real conversations, just basic talk. He couldn't really even hold normal conversation. I wouldn't even have considered him a friend. Just some guy I talk to because I'm too nice to tell him I don't like him. In fact, I thought he was kind of weird.

He's one of those people that complains about how their ex-wife/girlfriend/husband/..boyfriend and friends and family are either crazy nutjobs or total assholes and you feel sorry for them at first cause they seem nice enough and you wonder why they were given such a bad hand until you realize that either the only reason everybody in their life is a douche is because normal people wouldn't put up with them and their shit or they're actually the crazy ones. But I gave him that benefit of the doubt thing and chatting is just chatting, so whatevs. I thought it couldn't hurt. He asked me to hang out one weekend and I said no because I was busy. I mean, I would have said no anyway, because I was starting to get the hint that maybe he was slightly bi-polar, but I really was busy. He never asked again. Yesterday, we were IMing, just having a normal conversation and out of nowhere - like seriously in mid conversation - he says that he's been flirting with me for months and he gets easily bored and I wasn't worth talking to and goodbye. Before I could even respond, he was gone. Either signed off or blocked me. He had already removed me from his Myspace and Facebook friends list. And good, cause it saved me the trouble of doing it myself. But wtf? Flirting? Asking me to hang out once and then never again is flirting? My bad. 

He acted weird all the time. He refused to talk to me one day because his cat peed on his coat and it was the end of the world. And he was always snapping on me for no reason. Like one time we were chatting and he said he was leaving, but he kept on talking, so a few minutes later I mentioned that I thought he was leaving. He went off on me about what a nice way that was to tell him to leave me alone. I was like..... okay. I didn't say that, I just wondered why he hadn't left. It turns out he was IMing from him phone, but I'm supposed to know this how? If I didn't respond fast enough, he took it as a personal rejection. And one time (at least once, maybe more) he chided me for not talking enough. Gee, sorry I'm not typing your pre-approved number of characters per minute. Cause everybody knows I only come online just to talk to him and do nothing else. I could go on and on about all these little things, but they all add up to:

 

 

This morning I realized that I still had his number programmed in my phone, so I texted him and told him to make sure he removed my number from his. And also, called him an asshole, cause i'm a bitch like that. He texted back, "And you wonder why I got rid of you from my friends list and life. This would be why lifeless bitch now kindly drop dead and go away. You did this to yourself."

 

First of all, until I called him an asshole, I never did anything to him. Even when he was being douchey about me not responding fast enough, I was always nice. Second of all, he was never part of my "life". Ew. Third of all, I did what to myself exactly? Finally got rid of some weirdo I didn't want IMing me anyway? How dare I do such a thing to my own lifeless life!! I should just cut my wrists right now. But in a kind manner, as requested.

 

I don't take shit from these jackasses anymore, so I sent a nice little response back. Told him I never liked him in the first place because he was weird, a drama queen, and kind of a douche, and always acting like a dick for no reason and how the reason his ex girlfriend is a crazy bitch is because a normal girl wouldn't even begin to deal with him. Kind of mean, but honesty is the best policy, right? So he wrote back that I was "mean" and "hateful"  - all true, actually, but only towards people like him - and that's why I was still single and living with my parents (though technically not true, but nevermind that he lives with his dad and doesn't even have a job) and why all my friends were "loosers", even though he knows none of my friends nor anything about them. He kept saying that since I was texting him, I must actually like him, and that I should stop texting him because I am a "skank" and a "retard". Cause he's totally in third grade. But while he's saying all this, he's sending me text after text. Like 8 in a row on my way home from work and I wasn't even responding because I was driving. I'd type some of them up but most of them are things that never even happened and just crazy stuff that doesn't even make sense. Anyway, we traded nasty insults back and forth until his texts turned into things like "I'm surprised you can read" and "I hope you get a yeast infection or aids", and then I didn't even have time for it anymore.

What is in the water in Illinois that makes people nuts?