1. Camouflage makes everything more manly! Why, because it screams "I'm a man ready for action!" Sure it looks silly wearing a garment designed to blend into a forest enviroment, while shopping in the baby food isle at Wal-mart, but what if the east koreans launch a suprise paratrooper attack. All I've got to do is: avoid a mass force of heavily trained special forces soldiers while I travel 10 miles to the nearest densely wooded area, and those bastards will never be able to see me! Good-luck finding a place that your baby blue "old navy" t-shirt will make you invisible! Camo can turn ordanary items like flip-flops, sun-glasses, and a flashlight into "combat gear". Hell, take a purse, put a rainforest design on it and you've now got an ammo tote!

2. Pink makes anything unmanly! Nobody is masculine enough to make a pink shirt look butch. No matter how tall and ripped you are, if you put on a pink shirt, people will just say "man that's the tallest, most ripped sissy i've ever seen!". If you were to wip out a pink M-16 and men would be mocking you for it, even as you mowed them down!

3. If it has wheels, it should be 4 wheel drive. A real man is prepared for all terrians at all times! You should always be prepared to drive over a mountain if you need too. Metoers are a real thing people! You don't want to have to worry about building rubble blocking your path to the gun store! Whether it's a car, a truck, a mini-van (not that you can own a mini-van without loosing your penis license), a golf cart, a skateboard, a grocery cart, or a lark, it should be 4 wheel drive! ( I have figured out how you can make a 3 wheeled motor-ized chair 4 wheel drive, but I think we should get someone from NASA on it imitiadlely!