8. A jet engine is the best form of propulsion for any vehicle! Whether it's got wheels, wings, a rudder, mud tracks, or snow skies, If it needs to move, it needs to move faster! A pansy would say that you can't give cars jet engines because they would cause more fatal traffic accidents, but a real man would say that this just means less traffic!

9. The more gadgets you can put in your vehicle, the better! You don't want your truck to just be a truck, you want it to be a direct extension of your home. Therefore you want to pack in as much of the stuff you have at your house as you can, eminities such as a t.v., stereo, refrigerator, hot tub, toaster, fire place, etc....Why does my truck need a tanning bed?...I don't know, it just does!


10. A man can only pocess a tanning bed for the purposes of secretly filming hot girls he knows while their sunbathing naked!
A heterosexual man can't microwave himself in some giant tampon- shaped easy bake oven. Instead he must tan in the manner the good lord intended, washing a camero-like vehicle shirt-less in cut-off shorts and flip-offs!

11. Cut off the legs of a  pair of jeans just above the knees and you have the perfect casual wear for both work and play. Cut off the legs on a pair of jeans so short that they are borderline obscene, and their now the perfect swim trunks!