12. A man must  have enough firearms and ammo to repale a large scale zombie attack at all times! There won't be a memo sent out before the dead rise, and despite my best efforts, the fools in local goverment aren't about to install brain-eater sirens in the streets, so we've got to be prepared in advance! Sure, laugh at me now, but we'll see who's laughing when i'm easily holding off the invasion of the dead at my house, while you're getting eaten alive!


13. Midgets are funny! I'm sorry they just are, and you know it! No matter what they're doing it's halarious. I could just sit and watch a little person work in the post office and laugh for hours! The evening news on its on is depressing as hell, but the evening news hosted by midgets would be a fucking riot! "the silence of the lambs" staring Anthony Hopkins: Chilling, "the silence of the lambs" starring a midget: can't stop giggling. Pauly Shore would still have a career if you had more little people in his movies. A midget could tell me i had cancer and I would think it was cute. As soon as this damn radio show makes me rich, i'm not wasting time with some stupid sports car, I'm getting a house-midget and I'm naming him "bobo the mighty"!



14. Unless doing something extremely manly like: planning a bank heist or deciding where to hide a body, a man cannot speak to another man that he is not related too in a public restroom! I don't care if you find out that there is a bomb about to go off in there (the kind that involves C-4, you sick bastards!) if you run out the bathroom screaming and they don't figure out it's time to go, they desearve to die!