Meh, MySpace is boring to me anymore.  That's why I haven't been on, in case you asked, which you didn't, which makes me look like a big honkin' narcissist asking herself questions for the sole purpose of an opening paragraph.  Hey, you do what you have to.

I haven't been doing much of anything lately, which I realized is totally lame after my sister called and asked me what was new.

"Well I uh....I've...oh my God absolutley nothing is new.  Nothing.  Well, I mean I cut my own bangs because I saw a stray hair dangling that I didn't like and now my hair looks like this:

 

(Editor's note:  it was very hard to convey via phone the fucked-uppery of what I volunatrilly did to my own hair, but since my sister and I might as well have been conjoined twins of the brain, she totally got it.)

"....and now the only style I can think of that looks even 1/10 less ridiculous is this:



"...so this is how I'm running around work now.  What's new with you?"  *toussle, toussle* *and a big 'ol TEASE*

Truth is, I've become even more of a recluse than I already was, if you can believe that.  I go to work, but only because I have to.   Sometimes after work I'll go to the bar across the street and get hammered, which may sound "social" in some aspects, but keep in mind I go there by myself, drink by myself, play Touchscreen by myself and leave.  By myself.  At least people still think I'm classy,a real-live lady, and not the town whore (pronounced 'hoo-were' for comedic reasons).  I'm sure they would change their tune if they knew I woke up the next afternoon still fully clothed and shoed, lumbering toward the shower like a sasquatch, scrambling around to find my Visine in time to make it to work not looking like...well, this:

    


Ooooh!  ZING! 

 Who cares.  She's a twat.

But I don't drink myself into retardation as much anymore, if you are concerned and are mid-dial to Betty Ford in my behalf, which you're not; you're probably mid-bite into a ham and cheese Hot Pocket. 

I am actually a humungous geek that found the absolute euphoria that is the MMORPG World of Warcraft.  Oh yes.  I'm one of those.  I am a 31-year-old woman that absolutley loves the sweet escape that is a massive online community that fights dragons in dungeons - with nine-year-olds that are 25 levels higher than me informing me that the boss's drop of the Arcane Pants of the Whale is "gay."  Not to me, you dumb clucks!  Them's auction house material!  Someone will pay 20 silver for those arcane pants, by the light!   

It all started with the free 10-day trail you see advertized on such questionable (yet highly informing) websites, such as Cracked.com. I've learned much more about history and civilization from the cracked authors than I would in three lifetimes of secondary school.