trash day dawns and weary though I am, I gather my pajamas from the floor . . slip on my LOVE FROM NEW JERSEY t-shirt and head down the stairs with my cat at my heels. The bag is ready to go . . gathered and bundled the night before for quicker access . . quick drop . . quick return to my dream where my cousin keeps changing ages and my childhood best friend is throwing a reunion at a place where spiderwebs touch our head.

the can drags easily up the drive . . left safe and sound for the coming of Super Mullet Man, aka the garbage guy. return to neverland.

"BEAR IN THE TRASH! BEAR IN THE TRASH!"

I wake to my wife shouting these words of warning. visions of sugar plums dance through my head in the form of corn cobs and coffee grinds littered all across the lawn and having to pick them up.

There he is . . sitting with a feast at the top of my driveway.

I'm determined . . angry . . and pissed. "Where is Super Mullet Man? Where's the calvary? By GOD someone was supposed to prevent this from happening!"

I rush out the door...the bear stares at me... begins to leave...takes a few steps before stopping...then, keeping his eye on me, he takes a shit right on the road as if to let me know how much my anger means to him.

bottom line...Yogi 2 Me 0 but the season is just picking up.