I've found myself longing to post blogs lately. Honestly, I don't know why, I guess I just want to write. But once I manage to open up the window I wonder to myself, what am I going to write about? Then writers block swarms over me, and once agian I hit that home button and leave another blog unwritten.

Today (actually yesterday because it's 1:20) I was at Cassie house all day and she managed to burn me sixteen new cd's! (Thank you Cassie I love you!!!) Well one would think I'd be trying to listen to all of these new wonderful songs I have just recieved, but I've found myself drawn to one song. "So I Thought" by Flyleaf.

I guess my life has just been changing so much, it's just overwhelmed me some. This song just seems to bring me back. I've realized that I spent so much time over the last two years with one person, I didn't give anyone else a chance. No, I'm not saying that one person was bad for me, I'm just saying that after these past two years I'm coming back to ask myself "Who am I?".

Now I realize that one should not change themself for another person. But can one person help but changing when they are around other people? Maybe the more people you are with and are influenced by the more full of a life you develope. But does that mean that one should not be in relationships? Does that mean that one should honestly just play the field until they know who they truly are? If that's how it's supposed to be, I honestly don't think I could do that. If you don't give a relationship with someone you truly connect with a shot, how do you know you're not missing out on something great? How do you know you're not just cutting off a part of yourself while cutting off from that person, they could make a wonderful part of you come out? Who knows, I'm honestly confusing myself right now. All I know is if you're brave enough to give up a chance of something great with someone you care about they all applause to you. I just know that I can't do that.

I guess I will be updating whoever reads this later on my journey to find myself. Thank you for reading. Now I would like to leave you with these beautiful words.


All your twisted thoughts free flow
To everlasting memories
Show soul
Kiss the stars with me
And dread the wait for
Stupid calls returning to us to life
We say to those who are in love
It can't be true 'cause we're too young
I know that's true because so long I was
So in love with you
So I thought

A year goes by
And I can't talk about it

On my knees
Dim lighted room
Thoughts free flow try to consume myself in this
I'm not faithless
Just paranoid of getting lost or that I might lose
Ignorance is bliss cherish it
Pretty neighborhoods you learn to much to hold
Believe it not
And fight the tears
With pretty smiles and lies about the times

A year goes by
And I can't talk about it
The times weren't right
And I couldn't talk about it

Chorus Romance says goodnight
Close your eyes and I'll close mine
Remember you, remember me
Hurt the first, the last between
Chorus Romance says goodnight
Close your eyes and I'll close mine
Remember you, remember me
Hurt the first, the last, between

And I'm praying that we will see
Something there in between
Then and there that exceeds all we can dream
So we can talk about it

Chorus Romance says goodnight
Close your eyes and I'll close mine
Remember you, remember me
Hurt the first, the last between
Chorus Romance says goodnight
Close your eyes and I'll close mine
Remember you, remember me
Hurt the first, the last healing

And I'm praying that we will see
Something there in between
Then and there that exceeds all we can dream

And all these twisted thoughts I see
Jesus there in between
And all these twisted thoughts I see
Jesus there in between