So I don't know why, I've just had this dull weird feeling ever since last night. Actually I do know exactly why, it just seems that I've had huge problems opening up lately. I don't want to tell people what's wrong, what's up with me. Though I want so much to just get it all out, I can't. People ask me what's wrong, and even though I shouldn't have a problem telling these people anything, I still do.
It's just with these situations, I feel so dumb for caring so much. I know it's in the past and it most likely doesn't mean a thing now, I just don't know how to get it out and ask and tell them that it's bugging me. Every time I have the opportunity I can't find the words or I feel like it's the wrong time and place. I don't know, but this song reminds me of stuff.
the past is a grotesque animal
and in its eyes, you see
how completely wrong you can be
how completely wrong you can be
the sun is out, it melts the snow that fell yesterday
makes you wonder why it bothered
I fell in love with the first cute girl that I met
who could appreciate Georges Bataille
standing at a swedish festival
discussing Story of the Eye
discussing Story of the Eye
it's so embarrassing to need someone like I do you
how can I explain I need you here and not here, too
how can I explain I need you here and not here, too
I'm flunking out
I'm flunking out
I'm gone
I'm just gone
but at least I authored my own disaster
but at least I authored my own disaster
performance breakddown
and I don't want to hear it
I'm just not available
things could be different
but they're not
oh, oh
things could be different
but they're not
the mousey girl screams violence, violence
the mousey girl screams violence
she gets hysterical
'cause they're both so mean
and it's my favorite scene
oh, the cruelty so predictable
makes you sad on the stage
though a love project has so much potential
but it's like we weren't made for this world
no, I wouldn't really want to meet someone who was
do I have to scream in your face?
I been dodging lamps and vegetables
throw it all in my face
I don't care
let's just have some fun
let's tear this shit apart
let's tear the fucking house apart
let's tear our fucking bodies apart
let's just have some fun
somehow you've rediscovered the gestapo circling my heart
and nothing can defeat you
no death, no ugly world
you've lived so brightly
you've altered everything
I find myself searching for old selves
whilst speeding forward through the plate-glass of maturing selves
I faintly unravel, the Paul Hellion
but even apocalypse is fleeting
there's no death, no ugly world
sometimes I wonder if you're mythologizing me like I do you
mythologizing me like I do you
we want our film to be beautiful, not realistic
you see me in the radiance of terror dreams
you can betray me
you can
you can betray me
teach me something wonderful
crown my head, crown my head with your lilting effects
project your fears onto me
I need to view them
see there's nothing to them
I promise you there's nothing to them
I'm so touched by your goodness
you make me feel so criminal
how do you keep it together?
I'm all unraveled
d'you know
no matter where we are
we're always touching by underground wires
I've explored you with the detachment of an analyst
but most nights we've raided the same kingdoms
and none of our secrets are physical
none of our secrets are physical
none of our secrets are physical, no